04:27 - 24 September 2004
trip to spokane
ok everybuddy, before we begin todays episode, the management at hoo did it and ran have decided to hold a name the song contest! heres how it works~~click on the name the song link up above, listen to the song, and if ya know it, you win!!! easy huh? Q: Mr. Producer, what do I win? A: Well, contestant player, you win the knowledge of knowing the song and the ultimate fact that you have spent your life watching way too much tv! So, click on the song link and enjoy! Also, does anybuddy reconise the cartoon here at the end of this drivel? if ya wanna know, ask, if ya know tell me, and then i will KNOW what you were doing during the late '60s and early '70's hahaha!
NOW, on with the show!
The following story is true, no names are mentioned cause i cant remember any, and the following took place sometime during the 1990's........
SO, one time i found myself in everett, washington, just north of seattle; this was before they built the NEW rescue mission(if ya dont know what a "rescue mission" is ask me!}and the word in the gutter was that they had a "5 star" dee-lux mission in spokane! stay as long as you want, plenty of work and they feed ya like a king! now, i have heard this before; people say how good it is someplace, and it turns out to be crap.
so, i decided to go to spokane and see if this mission was worth a mention in Fodor's Travel Guide; all the professional homeless people USE Fodor's Travel Guide for knowing the classiest cities and for the free eats guide in the back!
Now, I started to hitch-hike across route 2; ya I know, its not the interstate, but i wanted to try something different~ but there were no rides to be had, no one was being hospitible! o well, along side route 2 was the TRAIN TRACKS! and here comes an eastbound freight! so, i did what any good natured tramp did, and hopped the freight!
it was a nice ride; i was sitting between 2 coal cars and i was wearing a white shirt; we were going along at a smooth pace when all of a sudden, we entered a tunnel! now, it was night time, and they dont put LIGHTS in railroad tunnels! deeper and deeper into the tunnel we went, and after a while, i did get scared and hung on for dear life, mainly cause IT WAS SO DARK I LITERALLY COULD NOT SEE MY HAND IN FRONT OF MY FACE AT ALL! now, i know how a blind person feels! this went on forever! all u can hear is the wheels screeching, the train rumbling, and not able to see anything! YIKES!!!
Finally, we came out of the tunnel into some town, it was 1:30 in the morning by the bank clock in this town. the train stopped, and i jumped off; i was shook up after that ride big time!my shirt used to be white, now it was black with coal dust! o well, such is life, i will get another shirt someplace; to this day i dont know what town i was inbut it was small looking and not a soul in sight! the train was starting to leave, so i hopped back on it, and decided to climb up the side of the coal car(theres a ladder) to see if it was empty, and it was, so i slid down the side and drifted off to sleep.
now, as it was, i awoke suddenly by very loud banging noises and crashes, i woke up to find i was in some kind of building of some sort; i got up, and realised where i was; i was in a roundhouse, and they were FILLING THE COAL CARS! AW SHIT!! you never seen a fat boy scramble so fast out of that empty coal car so fast!! just in time too! my car was next to be filled! woosh! as i was scurring down the ladder to get back BETWEEN the cars, the car I was in got filled!!! thank you CHEESUS! whew! what a mess that would have been!
SO, I made it safely to SPOKANE, just in time to hit the mission for breakfast, and they were right! they do feed you like a king there, i got fed, was able to shower and get clean clothes, and i told some people about the train and where i came from and some one mentioned, oh! that tunnel is 7 MILES LONG!!!!! see what happens when you hop a freight!!!
