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01:45 - 06 February 2005
sunday funnies


happy sunday funnies!!! i sincerly do hope that you are enjoying the weekend!
heres some news you can snooze to all day long!
here now, looking into our plastic 8 ball we here at who did it and ran, ink! (namely, me)
do now hereby and predict that our pals, the new england patriots will beat the hooey outta
the philadelphia eagles, 31-10 in a fun filled, over zealously secured super bowl!! remember, all you small aeroplane pilots out there, stay away from the stadium in a 30 mile radius, or the jack booted thugs will shoot you down!!! and no swimming in the river either!!
and now, without further ado--here from the newsdesk of who did it and ran, handy dan rather or not reporting, is the screwy news!!!


180 Trillion Leisure Hours Lost To Work in 2004

BOSTON�According to a report released Monday by Boston University's School of Lifestyle Management, more than 180 trillion leisure hours were lost to work in 2004.

"The majority of American adults find work cutting into the middle of their days�exactly when leisure is most effective," said Adam Bernhardt, the Boston University sociology professor who headed the study. "The hours between 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. are ideally suited to browsing stores, dozing in front of the television, and finishing the morning paper. Daytime hours are also the warmest and sunniest of the day, making them perfect for outdoor activities. Unfortunately, most Americans can't enjoy leisure during this time, for the simple reason that they're 'at work.'"

In addition to surveying 12,000 citizens nationwide, researchers studied data from seven different government agencies.

Deborah Kletter, an expert in the field of rest and relaxation, emphasized the pervasive nature of the problem, which she said affects 96 percent of employable Americans year-round.

"Week after week of potential relaxation time is squandered to jobs, with millions of would-be leisurers prohibited from sleeping in, working on hobbies, or taking trips," said Kletter, executive director of the Five-To-Nine Foundation. "An average employed person's ability to stroll aimlessly around his town and 'do whatever' is basically nonexistent 49 weeks out of the year."

Kletter said there is a vast disparity between the U.S. and Europe, where a strong leisure ethic is taught during youth.

"Americans simply can't keep up with the European leisure force," Kletter said. "In such fields as suntanning, skiing, and cooking elaborate meals that can be eaten over the course of an entire evening, Europe has us beat."

The report's internals reveal that full-time workers are hit hardest, with part-time workers coming in a close second, and freelancers marking a distant third.

"Ironically, the unemployed fared the best in this report," Kletter said. "One of the questions that remains unanswered, unfortunately, is how jobless citizens' high number of available leisure hours somehow fails to translate into overall happiness."

Bernhardt and Kletter found that employed persons do find one small but regular opportunity for leisure.

"In general, Saturdays and Sundays were unaffected by work," Kletter said. "Unfortunately, this fact does little more than underscore the fact that a serious problem exists five out of seven days of the week."

The loss of leisure-related revenue is another factor to consider, Kletter said.

"Leisure-time reduction is costing America billions of dollars in weekday concert-ticket revenue, airfare, and violin lessons," Kletter said. "I don't understand why the government hasn't already stepped in."

Kletter said that, "on the bright side," many Americans have learned to reclaim leisure time through aggressive multi-tasking.

"Americans have an impressive ability to do several things at once," said Kletter, who compiled the at-office leisure figures. "Enterprising workers managed to shop online, have long-distance telephone conversations with friends, and stare at their cubicle walls for hours. Those findings are very encouraging."

Bernhardt and Kletter acknowledged that their report was responsible for the loss of nearly 2,000 leisure hours.



Dress up Doll Born To Area Couple

NEW YORK�Two years ago, Manhattan married couple Ron Garver and Becky Meyers weren't sure they were cut out for parenting. They worked long hours, had a thriving social life, and their East Village apartment was small and cramped. But 24 months and 73 outfits later, Garver and Meyers are the proud parents of a 10-month-old dress-up doll.




Garver and Meyers display their child.
Above: Garver and Meyers display their child.

"I didn't think I was ready for a baby," Meyers said Monday. "In my mind, Ron and I were too irresponsible. But next thing you know, I'm pregnant and we're buying sundresses, headbands, little Converse sneakers�you know, I was doing all the important things you need to do in preparation for a baby."


Meyers said she began to read everything she could get her hands on, from catalogs to articles on nursery decorating.


"I was so relieved when our little girl arrived in perfect health," Meyers said. "It's almost impossible to find cute outfits for preemies."


Since their baby's birth, Garver, a staff writer for New York magazine, and Meyers, who works in acquisitions at a small film company, have spent nearly 30 percent of their income on baby clothes.


"We don't just buy anything, though," Garver said. "It has to be something that's missing from her wardrobe. Last week, I got Daddy's little girl a little Knicks jersey to wear to the games. Everyone thinks it's adorable. She's already been on the Jumbotron!"


Garver said his daughter is not always in an athletic mood.


"Did you know they sell Clash shirts for babies?" Garver said. "Everyone at work gets such a kick out of my little punk!"


After Meyers gave birth to the baby, she said she had to adjust to the "full-time job" of primping their child for display.


"For a while, we never got any sleep!" Meyers said. "She'd wake up in the middle of the night, and we'd have to get up, take her out of her sleeper, put her in her breakfast PJs, and feed her. Sometimes, I barely had the energy to plan her outfits for the next day."


"Having a child is a lot of work," Meyers added. "Coming up with the idea to dress your baby like a farmer, a police officer, or even a little sunflower is difficult enough on its own. But if she's sleepy or fussy, it can take a half an hour to dress her. Still, when you hear the coos of the neighbors who see her in the Baby Jogger, it's all worth it."




Meyers and Garver's child photographed throughout the day Monday.
Above: Meyers and Garver's child photographed throughout the day Monday.

Garver and Meyers have discovered many unexpected responsibilities, such as making sure that their daughter is bundled up in an adorable snowsuit when it's cold.


"Every trip outside requires a hundred decisions," Meyers said. "Should she wear her bear coat or her cute red-velvet Santa jacket? Is today a bunny-ears kind of a day, or does it feel like more of a plaid-wool-cap morning? Sometimes, if our social calendar requires it, we have to pull together three or four outfits in a single day."


The baby does not always wear special outfits, however.


"If we're spending the night in, she might just lounge around in a Nike sweatsuit, some grubby old T-shirt from two months ago, and one of those sweaters Grandma sent," Garver said.


Garver and Meyers said they had to make some sacrifices after they became parents.


"We've had to make some changes in order to save money," Meyers said. "But we've learned to rely on accessories to freshen up a look. And we keep an eye out for sales. It takes a bit more time than just heading to Macy's, but we've scored some really great little sunglasses and backpacks. Nothing is too much for our little doll."


Even though she spends a great deal of time shopping for her baby, Meyers said she believes that the best gift she can give her daughter is her time and attention.


"Just last week, I thought, 'Wouldn't it be cute if I took a picture of her on the phone?'" Meyers said. "I spent an hour figuring out how to strap her hand to the telephone. Then, I had to make it look like she was talking by giving her a little baby food to chew on. If you snapped the photo at the right moment, it totally looked like she was talking on the phone. My sister told me I was crazy, but I said 'You just wait until you see the photo!'"


Garver and Meyers said that, in spite of the financial and social sacrifices they have had to make, they have "never once regretted the decision to keep the baby."


"This isn't about Becky and me," Garver said. "This is about building our child's self-esteem, because we love her. Which reminds me, we're really looking forward to Valentine's Day. We found an adorable pink dress with little wings on the back for our little Cupid. How can she not be happy with all the attention everyone will give her? Plus, her hair's finally growing in, so we can stop using the hats. She never seemed to like those."




and now heres a very silly blogthing!!!




You Are the Very Gay Peppermint Patty!





Softball is the huge tipoff here...
As well as a "best friend" who loves to call her "sir"




thats all the news thats fit to misprint! and in keeping with the american style tradition of the sunday news-rag, is our funny pages!!








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