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coffee time!! - Tuesday, Apr. 05, 2005
stuff to chew on for today! (if ya hungry, that is)
gawd! i overslept!!

It's Fun at Work Day! We here at who did it and ran, ink! love our day jobs and would never ever do anything to jeopardize them. However, you may feel differently about yours. In that case, we recommend you do one of the following:

1) Start your next meeting by rearranging your papers crisply, looking at your watch and saying, "OK, are we all here? We're going to have to make this fast. I have to jump off this call at 2:30, so that I can call up my friend and talk about shit."

2) You know how you're supposed to repeat things back to people, so that they know you're listening to them and acknowledging what they're saying? Try doing this when your supervisor gives you instructions, but then change what she says just slightly, so that the meaning is totally different. So, for example, let's say your supervisor has told you that the meeting is on Tuesday and there will be muffins. You would say, "OK, so: The meeting is on Monday, and there will be stuffing." Repeat if necessary. This will also qualify you for unemployment and, in some rare cases, severance, but don't quote us on that.

3) Decorate your cube with millions and millions of postage-stamp sized pictures of Barbra Streisand. When asked about them, just say, "Oh, well, I just think she's magical, don't you?"

Less magical, fun, or amusing: Carpetbaggers! Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney headlines the Corry County GOP dinner in South Carolina today. We here at who did it and ran, ink! have no idea what Mitt Romney plans to discuss at the Corry County GOP dinner and in fact is still somewhat confused about Romney's 2002 gubernatorial victory over State Treasurer Shannon O'Brien, who is a Democrat and has an Irish name, two things that generally go down like home-cookin' in the Commonwealth. All this despite the fact that Romney is a Mormon, not from Massachusetts, two feet tall and every bit as realistic looking as a Ken Doll or else one of those off-putting celebrity replicas at Madame Tussaud's. However, middle-aged Republican ladies think he's a hottie. And since they're the only Americans who vote anymore, Romney will probably be President someday.

Today is also the scheduled start of the Iraq
Fragging Trial. Sgt. Hasan Akbar will be court-martialed for attacking his comrades in arms with grenades AND rifles as they slept in their tents. Because whatever else you want to say about Akbar -- he's thorough. Allegedly.

Two soldiers were killed, and 14 were injured. This incident is notable for two reasons, other than being just plain horrifying: It marks the first time since Vietnam that an American soldier has been put on trial for murdering a fellow soldier during wartime, and Akbar's counsel is expected, as part of his defense, to paint the Army as anti-Muslim and exclusionary. The shocking revelation that the military might be less diversity-oriented and all-embracing than, say, the average liberal arts school campus, will no doubt cause shockwaves that will shake the very core of the Armed Forces, and indeed, the country. Also, if Akbar gets off on account of this, we will institute a policy of administering black eyes to everyone who does not feel that we are uniquely special and talented. Why not?

Finally, Kansas votes on gay marriage today. The proposed amendment to the constitution would legally define marriage as being between a man and a woman. Dorothy would be so proud.

Thats all the news thats fit to print here! but wait! one more thing! or maybe 2! i been procrastinating about something for a few days now, ever since i got bored last week and went to office max! i seen this mouth watering nifty corner desk, 198 bucks, and been procrastinating about getting it! heres a look see:

so, whatta ya think? huh? im impulsive, i know, and i dunno if i should get this or not! it would fit nicely in the corner, and i can put the tv on it too!

so, thats that! im doin ok today, i slept good, and im full of coffee!!!
hava swell day!

cat of the day!

there was something else, but i forgot!

oh ya i remember now! i got a new link here! called pork chop! so click on pork chop and see what happens! (i promise, nuffin BAD will happen, its not like ya puter will blow up or anything like that!)

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