in the middle of the nite - Sunday, Apr. 10, 2005
entry number 280
well, yesterday was yesterday, im doin a lil better today, and i was cheered by having some dland pals to play pogo with yesterday: chaosdaily, poolagirl, and boxx9000 it was FUN!!! boxx is brand new to pogo, and chaos gave her a guest pass so she can play the member games, and poola is always fun to be with, as is chaos! i felt better playing pogo with them and actually saying a few syllables in real time with boxx~!
i bought a lil rug shampooer/vaccum from walmart.com the other day for 100 bucks or so; i was too lazy to goto walmart and get it and lug it home, so pay for shipping, and let them come to me. albertsons supermarket has online shopping, and for 10 bucks more they deliver. and papa johns pizza has online delivery too. how lazy can i go?
i can easily get wrapped up in not leaving the building here at all, but thats not good. i have again overdue stuff from the library, but between working, the rain, and being tired, i didnt feel like going. i could go tomorrow, but i will be tired. im gonna try to shoot for monday.
thanks to all u guys who sent me cheer up comments! i appreciate it! im trying to fight this depression, its a see saw emotional roller coaster ride, and no fun at all; yea, i can put on the mask, and appear to be all right for a while, but then i just break down for no god damn reason whatsoever! for once everything is going a-ok for me, and i aint got no complaints, and i get along with everyone for a change. im not flat assed broke anymore, and i got stuff! and i aint wandering around the streets or sleeping in libraries or parks.
take a rubber band, hold it in both hands and stretch it taut, but dont break it! thats how i feel. i need to do something useful, besides going shopping and spending money!
as a whole, i am very satisfied deep down inside about my living situation, i haven't been this stable in years, and the urge to just say fuck it! and jump on the next amtrak is growing less and less, and i have no desire to do that anymore. no reason for me to be depressed at all. but there it is, that dark cloud of doom hanging over my head! bleah!
starting this week, i am going to get off my lazy fat ass, and do something different! i havent been in a starbucks in months, and barnes and noble either, and they are both right down the block! now theres something for monday! tuesday, wednesday, and thursday, i work 9 to 5. friday i can do something else~!
i often wonder if i can get a real full time job, and if i can keep it?! but then again, if i go off and do that, i may become ineligible to live here what with the income guidelines that this place has.
oh, i will get out of this funk! a good breakfast of pancakes and eggs with bacon, and some garlic toast after work should do the trick!
the other day, i made some pinto beans with tomatos and onions and chicken, slow cooked all day for 12 hours! and dang! that is yummy!!
well, thats enuff blathering for now! its 4:20 am and im gonna play some pogo and hopefully 9 am will get here quick! its quiet and peaceful here, and thats a good thing!
hope every 1 has a nice sunday!
FACT OF THE DAY
King James V of Scotland was born on this day at Linlithgow Palace in 1512. He became king at the age of seventeen months after his father, James IV, was killed at the battle of Flodden.
CAT OF THE DAY
