a bit of sad news to report here; as you all know, i live in a residential hotel; i also work here; i maintain security and help out doyle the manager with stuff on occasion. before i continue, i just want to say, this is NOT: a nursing home or a care facility, or a group home, or a halfway house. this is a rental property. we are not obligated to look after our tenants, we all pay our rent, and live independently from one another. low income housing.

it was discovered that one of our tenants had died in her room. the painters had needed to get in her room to paint the window, and doyle the manager had opened her door after recieving no answer from knocking. the medical examiner had determined that amelia had suffered a heart attack in her sleep sometime over the past 10 days. no one had thought of checking up on her, because like i sez above, and we are not obligated to. im sorry if that sounds cold blooded, but we just dont do that here. people come and go. amelia was 57, and she was one of our nice tenants, never causing a fuss, and always had a kind word to say to you. she just fell asleep and died. i feel rotten about it, but what can you do? they tell me she didnt smell, and that was strange. i have no sense of smell anyway; you can take a shit and i wont smell it.

i had worked 21 hours previous to this, having worked from noon to 9 am yesterday morning, and i went to sleep. i woke up a few hours later to go downstairs and get a pop, when i seen jason in the office, and i asked him, whatcha doin in the office? and thats when he told me about amelia. i aint seen her myself inna while, and i actually had to stop and think, which one was amelia??!! shit, shit, shit! and he tole me that when doyle called her next of kin, they tole doyle that they aint seen her in 30 years!!! GAAAA!!!

now, i have once again have come to the realisation that nothing really matters here on earth! we make fusses over shit, and we fight and argue over lil things, we live, and then we die. and it dont matter. i mean really, how signifigant is things anyway? why fuss and worry over shit?? who the fuck really cares?? no one. no one gives a flying fuck wether you live or die. 6 months from now, i wont even remember amelia's name. if i was to suddenly stop updating this drivel, and just stop using the computer, and forgo all contact with all of you people, life would just move on, and it dont matter. after a while, y'all would forget about me, and i would forget about you. heres a fine example of this. wheres sassyfras? any one know? she aint updated in 45 days! is she alive or dead? anyone know? treesssa?? anyone??

nothing really matters. when i croak, im gonna for eternity be sitting at a desk, on a computer, with a coffee and a smoke, and playin pogo, or chattin with someone on yahoo messenger or whatever. it just dont friggen matter. 6 months after i croak, no one will remember me.

hay! true facts! im just being real about things. i wanna live for 10,000 years. this innernet thing is just relatively new, and i wanna see how it develoups over the next hundred or so years!!! some of us remember the 60's and we all thought that by the 21st century, we would have flying cars like on the jetsons, and shit like that! well, that aint happened yet!

heres 2 elvis songs that have been STUCK in my pea brain for the past few days, the green green grass of home and long black limousine....

The old home town looks the same,
As I step down from the train,
And there to meet me is my mama and papa
Down the road I look and there runs Mary
Hair of gold and lips like cherries
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home

Yes, they'll all be there to meet me,
All creatures smiling sweetly
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home

The old house is still standing,
Though the paint is cracked and dry
And there's an old oak tree that I used to play on
Down the lane I'll walk with my sweet Mary
Hair of gold and lips like cherries
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home

Then I awake and look around me
Cold gray walls surround me
And I realize that I was only dreamin'
There's a guard and there's a sad old padre
Arm and arm we'll walk at daybreak
Again I'll touch the green, green grass of home

Yes, they'll all be there to meet me In the shadow of that old oak tree As they lay me beneath the green, green grass of home

There's a long line of mourners
Driving down our little street
Their fancy cars are
such a sight to see, oh yea
They're all rich friends
who knew you in the scene
And now they've finally brought you
Brought you home to me

When you left you know you told me
That some day you'd be returnin'
In a fancy car,
all the town to see, oh yea,
Well now everyone is watching you
You finally had your dream, yea
You're ridin' in a long black limousine

You know the papers told of
how you lost your life, oh yea
The party, the party and the fatal crash that night
Well the race along the highway,
oh the curve you didn't see
When you're riding in that long black limousine

Through tear filled eyes
I watch as you pass by oh yea
A chauffeur, a chauffeur
at the wheel dressed up so fine
Well I never, I never, never, never
Oh my heart, all my dreams yea,
they're with you In that long black limousine

Yea, yea, they're with you
in that long black limousine

Yea, yea, they're with you
in that long black limousine

well, i work again today from 9 to 5 in the office. the office modem is on the fritz, it cuts in and out for some reason. what else is new? well, like i sez, it dont matter.lets just try to be happy and feel good.

You Were Actually Born Under:

You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest. However, you don't trust others to be as ethical as you are! Straight forward and direct, you really aren't one for small talk. You are a great listener - and an agreeable companion when you're in a good mood! You are most compatible with a Tiger or Horse.

You Should Have Been Born Under:

You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest. However, you don't trust others to be as ethical as you are! Straight forward and direct, you really aren't one for small talk. You are a great listener - and an agreeable companion when you're in a good mood! You are most compatible with a Tiger or Horse.

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