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06:21 - Saturday, Jun. 11, 2005
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WASHINGTON, DC�In a striking departure from centuries of American belief in rule of law, President Bush gave his approval Monday to a limited experiment in public vigilantism "to see if it works."

Bush makes a call for more vigilante justice.

"Groups of dedicated citizens who band together for a common cause�be it rounding up car thieves or castigating suspicious loiterers�strengthen and reinforce the social order," Bush said at a White House press conference. "I've never supported government intrusion in people's lives; I've always put more faith in the private sector. So I say, what the heck! Let's give vigilantism a go and see how things shake out. Why not?"

Bush's self-described "plan to have no plan" permits elected and appointed government authorities to "look the other way" while bands of U.S. citizens enforce both the community standards that the existing legal code overlooks and those laws that police fail to enforce.

"From bordello-busters to subway shooters, vigilantes have a long history of pinpointing and resolving the problems plaguing their communities," Bush said. "Let's give 'em a shot."

Bush's remarks came in the wake of criticism among his ultraconservative supporters, who argue that "activist judges" often make decisions that contradict the will of the people. To help remedy this problem, many special-interest groups had been calling for an official tolerance of "vigilante judicial committees."

"Vigilantes have an undeserved reputation for recklessness," Republican pollster Jennifer Mendenhall said. "As we phase vigilantism in, be prepared to hear a lot of talk about 'mob-ocracies' and 'tyrannies of the bat-wielding, roving majorities.' That rhetoric is meant to scare peaceful citizens into thinking they need magisterial authority to protect their interests. But vigilantism is not about crazed drunkards clustering in town squares, waving pitchforks and crying out for blood. It's about an opportunity to let the citizens of America serve as their neighbors' meter maids, correctional officers, chiefs of police, or, if necessary, SWAT teams."


A vigilante group patrols a Colorado Springs, CO highway for litterers.

Bush's decision has already mobilized vigilantes across the country.

"Who needed the police and the courts when I already knew who vandalized the restrooms at McDonnell Park?" Roy Kunz of Katy, TX said. "Bush has it right. It's high time we threw a few necktie parties around here."

Murphysboro, IL's Jo Crockett formed a vigilante committee to forcibly evict neighbor and "dirty, no-good slut" Haley Uhrig and her family from her neighborhood.

"Does the government care that [Uhrig] litters her yard with stinky diapers, blares her music around the clock, and steals our men? Hell no," Crockett said. "We couldn't wait around for an arrest warrant or a Jerry Springer segment producer to come to our aid. It's simple: That woman had to go."

Bush's endorsement of vigilante activity caught Capitol Hill Democrats off guard.

"I'm not sure vigilantism is in the best interest of the nation," Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said. "Vigilantes are bad, aren't they? I read The Ox-Bow Incident in high school. They ended up hanging the wrong guys in that book, I think. That sort of situation could lead to a major problem for the government."

Bush stressed that his move was experimental, characterizing vigilantism as "practical."

"Frankly, government officials have all they can handle right now, overseeing foreign wars and doling out unemployment benefits," Bush said. "The truth is, we'd really appreciate some help maintaining domestic order while we take care of the important stuff."

"Let's see what happens, America," Bush added. "After all, our government is supposed to be of, by, and for the people. That's from the Constitution."


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Perhaps
it's the way
the bored cashier never even bothers to flip over your
credit card. Or maybe it's the fact they never look you in the eye and
practically wing the card back at you once it goes through. But ever get
the feeling that the whole "sign your credit card slip" at the
check out is just a sham, a mere formality so that the store can get money,
even if it's not yours? Well, you're absolutely right.


The
hardest thing to do
when it's dark, you're bombed and need to pee
is finding the light switch, flicking it on, then being able to hold it
long enough to find the toilet while your eyes adjust. At best, you can
accomplish only two of those things, leaving you half-blind, staggering
around the bathroom, pissing your pants. That's why the makers of Jonny
Glow deserve some kind of special prize ... and so do the fine folks at
Gorkhouse for the outstanding animation.


At
some point,
when all the rodentlike-animals finally get together and
have an awards show celebrating their many rodentlike achievements, they're
going to give Sugar Bush Squirrel a lifetime achievement award. All of
the rats and mice and squirrels and gerbils and hamsters are going to
get all misty as they show Sugar Bush's lengthy career retrospective,
and then Sugar Bush is going to limp onstage with a little cane and give
a wildly passionate speech that ends with the word "courage."
And when you watch that shit on cable, you're gonna get all misty and
say, "That is one goddamn fine squirrel."




well, thats all there is, there is no more!!! we hope you enjoyed the show! hava berry merry weekend!!


Totally Stupid Fact of the Day:
Antonio Meucci's name is probably obscure to most people, but he was officially credited as being the inventor of the telephone by the United States Congress today in 2002. Who the hell is Antonio Meucci? I never heard of him, have you?

Cat of the Day

to read the comic strip, just mouse over it and click on it, and it will open inna new window!Click to Enlarge!





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