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in the wee hrs. of the morn! - Tuesday, Jul. 05, 2005
a triple feature!!!
well, hell! the udder day, i tryed to use the "weblog" style here, but it didnt work! so thats why things were screwed up! so, in case ya missed it, here is fridays and saturdays drivel, along with todays episode! sorry about that!



friday, july 1st, 2005

CANADA DAY

is Canada's national holiday. It is celebrated on July 1.

It celebrates the creation of the Dominion of Canada through the British North America Act 1867, which came into effect on July 1, 1867, uniting three British territories � the Province of Canada (southern Ontario and southern Quebec), Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick � into a federation.

The holiday itself was formally established in 1879 and was originally called Dominion Day, making reference to the Canadian-originated term 'dominion' to describe the political union, at a time when the Fathers of Confederation were hesitant to use a name such as the Kingdom of Canada. The name was changed to Canada Day on October 27, 1982.

It is a mandatory holiday across Canada for all federal institutions. It is also celebrated by all provincial governments and businesses across Canada. Quebec provincial governments under the Parti Qu�b�cois refused to recognize the celebration. In Newfoundland and Labrador, July 1 is also recognised as Memorial Day and commemorates Newfoundland's heavy losses during World War I in the Battle of Beaumont Hamel as part of the Battle of the Somme.

With the exceptions noted above, Canada Day is generally marked by patriotic celebrations. Most cities have organized celebrations, often featuring fireworks. Entertainment usually has a Canadian theme. Canadian flags abound, and some go as far as to paint their faces in Canadian colours.

The celebrations in Ottawa are particularly lavish. Every Canada Day, hundreds of thousands gather on Parliament Hill to celebrate Canada's birth.

Due to a particularity in colonial New France, Quebec celebrates Canada Day by mass movements of people changing residences. This is known as Moving Day.

The name Canada derives from an Iroquoian word for "village," kanata, that French explorers heard used to refer to the area near present-day Quebec City. Today, Canada comprises ten provinces and three territories.


Happy Birthday Canada!
C'est son 138 anniversaire



CAT OF THE DAY!!





saturday, july 2nd, 2005

good saturday, one and all!!!

and now, heres something we hope you really like; news straight from the vatican!!! which is always enjoyable, even if you aint catholic!

VATICAN TIGHTENS NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS STANDARDS

VATICAN CITY�The Vatican has released a strict new set of Church laws intended to reduce the nocturnal emissions of teenage polluters by 50 percent in the next decade, Cardinal Antoni Bertoli announced Monday.

"In the past 10 years, unholy emissions from young men have risen by 150 million cubic centimeters, releasing erotic-dream byproducts into the bedsheet environment," Bertoli said. "The accumulation of pollutants from millions of individual violators around the world is having a devastating effect on the moral atmosphere."

Vatican scientists believe the increase in emissions contributes to the Hothouse Effect, a steady rise in the overall temperature of the average Catholic male's genitals.

"Unchecked, we will soon reach a crisis point that no amount of will power can contain," Bertoli said.

Catholic males have long been subject to purity standards set by the 15th book of Leviticus, which states that "when any man has a discharge from his member, his member makes him ceremonially unclean." Prior to the new restrictions, a polluter who did not voluntarily comply with the regulation was required to bathe his body in fresh water, count seven days for his cleansing, and on the eighth day take two turtledoves to his priest for an offering.

But in recent years, these so-called Clean Sheets Regulations have begun to draw criticism from Church hardliners, because enforcement of the laws relies largely on self-policing.

"In this day and age, shame alone is no longer adequate to deter emitters," Boston's Father Antonio Luigi said. "Year after year, the worst polluters consistently go unpunished, leaving others to clean up the mess. Unless we start to actively regulate abuses, boys will have no incentive to curb their outputs."

Bertoli said a newly created Vatican Bedroom Purity Board will be responsible for enforcing the tougher standards. Made up of experts in an array of fields including physiology, psychology, and canon law, the ecumenical council will also conduct research into the causes of self-pollution.

The Vatican plans to establish VBPB agencies in all major cities to monitor ejaculators, and has decreed that Catholic males between the ages of 12 and 19 will undergo regular nocturnal-emissions tests in the form of laundry monitoring.

According to Bertoli, violators who soil their linens more than once per month will be subject to strict punishments, including mandatory confessionals, and fines of up to 20,000 Hail Marys per year.

Polluters who attempt to cover up evidence of their nocturnal crimes by hiding their sheets in the back of the closet will be sentenced to up to 30 minutes of the silent treatment from their mothers.

Males of ejaculatory age who fail to meet the new standards will be outfitted with Catholytic converters, which attach directly to the genitals during sleep and curb nocturnal emissions by reducing the temperature of the reproductive organs.

According to Cardinal Roger M. Mahony, archbishop of Los Angeles, the new laws will have wide-reaching implications for bedrooms in his diocese.

"These standards are going to be very hard to meet, especially in cities like L.A., where the warm temperatures and humid ocean fronts encourage women to walk around wearing next to nothing," Mahony said. "Rather than setting up impossible objectives and then punishing those who fail to reach them, officials should reward compliance. For example, local church officials could offer monetary incentives or baseball-game tickets to young men who willingly take steps to reduce their emissions."

Critics of the new regulations say that focusing solely on nocturnal emitters punishes the victims while ignoring the true perpetrators of impure-thought pollution.

"The real culprits behind bedsheet contamination are the reckless members of the dream-manufacturing industry, such as HBO, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar, and Mary Antonioni, the busty brunette who sits in the front row of Sister Francesca's sixth-period health class at St. Mary's Junior High in Fayetteville, IL," said Mother Superior Katherine Calahan. "We need anti-temptation regulations that focus on dress conservation. Let's require girls to wear less makeup, flatter shoes, and just put some clothes on, for God's sake."



and now for your viewing enjoyment, heres a pic of whitey the stray, who hangs out in the back yard and gets fed by me!

CAT OF THE DAY:

FACT OF THE DAY
Today in 1947, UFOs make their most famous appearance (or did they?) over the skies of Roswell, New Mexico. Eyewitnesses claim to have seen a mystery object and even several alien corpses. The US Air Force, however claims it was all a big mistake and what people saw was a...weather balloon. weather balloon my ass!! how the hell ya think I got here!! heheheeeee!!!!



hay everybuddy! hava slap happy holiday weekend!! please, be careful with fireworks!!! booze+fireworks=death!






and now, todays drivel!

its 2:30 and im starving!!! WTF i ate 1/2 a cow for supper!

way back on sunday, i woke up at noon, and thought it would be a novel idea to get up, have a smoke, turn on the puter, and check my email! but as you know, nothing in my life is easy, so when i went to check my email, i couldnt get online! WTF??? aw, this is just plain bullshit!!! fuckin holman! so i pulled the router out, and connected back up to the modem, and all was well here at who did it and ran, ink! HA! now, no sooner than i pull the plug so to speak, i get a tappity tap tap on my door!! i know its fuckin holman, wanting to know why the router had been turned off! see, heres the deal, being a nice guy that i am, i decided to let holman use the router so he can get free innernet using my bandwith. heres a quick primer for those who dont know WTF im yapping about.

see, i have a DSL modem for hi-speed innernet access thru AT&T. now with a router, i broadcast my innernet signal out into the world in a 1000 ft radius. now, if you have a puter with a network card installed, you can pick up my signal if you have the right code, and you can use the bandwidth that i am broadcasting along with me, even when my puter is off, as long as the router is connected.

so, thats how its done!

i got this router from the construction foreman across the street so he can get online to do his business in his trailer. its HIS router, he paid 300 bux for it! so i told holman he can use it, providing that he dont speed up the bandwidth signal, and only when the forman is not around.(nights and weekends)

he thought it would be great fun if he would speed up the bandwidth, and when i caught him at it, i told him NOT TO DO IT! he can damage the router!!! he said sorry and i let him back on, and now sunday, i cant get online! so i disconnect the router, and up running comes holman.

he tapped on the door, and i ignored it. so i checked my mail, read diaryland, and went back to sleep.

i woke up yesterday morning at 4 am, and jason I.M. me downstairs telling me holman is mad he cant get online, and that he came knocking at 2am, on MY door, after jason told him NOT TO!!!

what a little fuckass!! no respect at all!!

so, i worked from 9-5 yesterday, and holman came by the office to ask why i shut him off!! the little ass didnt have a clue! i explained to him again about speeding up the bandwidth, and how i was unable to get online, and again as to how its NOT MY ROUTER, and he is ABUSING the PRIVILEGE, and how he has NO RESPECT for me by banging on the door at 2 am, and he is damn lucky i didnt wake up!!

so he tryed to explain things, and i wasnt hearing it!! i tld him to go fuck off, i dont wanna hear it, and get the fuck outta the office, so he stammered away like a lil baby, and thats that!!
last night, i changed the code, and now only the foreman and me will be online. i will have to go across the street now and give the foreman the code when he comes in. i will tell him for security reasons, i changed the code!

in other action yesterday, after work there was a MAJOR DRUG BUST right out front!! they pulled a gal over and found a BIG BAG O' DOPE in her car!!! heres pics!!mouse over the pics and click on em to see a bigger pic!!








not only was there a BIG BAG of COCAINE in her purse, but a BIG BAG O" DOPE in the back of her car!!! its on the ground there between the back of her car and the front of the cop car!!

thats all the news from the land of morman, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and the children are above average!!!



FACT OF THE DAY!!

Scientific history is made today in 1996 as Dolly the sheep is born at the Roslin Institute near Edinburgh. Dolly's claim to fame is that she is the first mammal to be 'created' artificially - a clone.

CAT OF THE DAY!! a daily drivel favourite!

april comes home from a teaching assignment, where she brought home her cat that she found as a stray, and now........

DATS ALL DERE IS, DERE IS NO MORE!!! until tomorrow! heheheee!!!

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