06:21 - Saturday, Oct. 15, 2005
contest answers, and general junk
saturday!! work day!!! contest answer day!!! yay!!

we have 2 winners folks!!! the contest is closed!!

and winner number 1 is Diarylands most famous pie-rat.....

poolagirl yay!!

the pie-rat wins a 2006 scotsman appointment calendar!! which will be hand delivered personally by yours truly!!!

and winner number 2 is from Diarylands Ministry of Silly Walks, the Creator of Upcheer, the one and only Golf Widow yay!!!

Ms. Golf Widow wins a 2006 scotsman desktop calendar!!! which will be hand delivered personally by a United States Gubbermint worker!!!! is that service, or what?

i betcha some of you folks thought this was one of my fun fake deals!
nope! it is all on the up & up! and now, the answers, brought to you by drano, that tasty extra strength mouthwash! drano will getcha breath minty-fresh! now made in alcoholic brand! the alcoholic brand is specially designed to hide that booze breath from co-workers, your boss, and your spouse and even from the cops and the parish priest! so dont delay, get some drano today! sold at your more finer drug stores!

3. Person who gives a kidney or heart - ORGAN DONOR
4. Twining plant with funnel shaped flowers - MORNING GLORY
5. Home of Texas Christian university - FORT WORTH

6. Piece of paper you fill out in a catalog - ORDER FORM
7. Listing in the Guinness book - WORLD RECORD

8. Author of 1984 - GEORGE ORWELL

9. 1970s-80s tennis champ from Sweden - BJORN BORG

10.Northern Lights - AURORA BOREALIS

11.Vet with an equine practice - HORSE DOCTOR
12.Largest city in the Beaver State - PORTLAND OREGON

13.Whiskey made from ears of a vegetable - CORN LIQUOR
14.Title for the head of London, England - LORD MAYOR
15.Person on an assembly line - FLOOR WORKER FACTORY WORKER was also acceptable as an answer!!!

and now, the news that will make you snooze all day long!

Iraqis go to polls amid curfews, tight security

After decades of repression and dictatorship and more than two years of war and insurgency, Iraqis went to the polls today to vote on a draft constitution that would set up a democratic framework to govern the religiously and ethnically disparate nation. Ahead of the vote, national and provincial borders were closed and nighttime curfews ordered.

If you take a leek, beware

Belgian police warned thieves Friday who made off with leeks from a vegetable farm: don't eat them -- they could be toxic.

The robbers stole 440 pounds of leeks, a main ingredient of Vichyssoise soup, but police warned that the vegetables should have stayed in the ground another six weeks to be safe after treatment with toxic pesticides.

Police told consumers to beware of leeks with a strange smell which could indicate they were from the stolen batch from the farm in the West Flanders town of Izegem, Belga news agency said.

Woman ticked off by police for "fat" comment

A woman struck by a hit and run car driver in northern England said she was told off by a police officer for using the F-word to describe the driver -- "fat."

Mary Magilton, 54, suffered cuts and bruises after being hit by the car which mounted the pavement while she was chatting with friends in Oldham and then drove off, newspapers reported on Friday.

She reported the incident but was ticked off by a police officer when she said the driver of the car was a "fat" woman.

"I was given a frosty look and told I couldn't say that. I could have said lardy, porky or podgy. But I wouldn't dare use those words," the Daily Mirror quoted her as saying.

A spokeswoman for Greater Manchester Police (GMP) said the description recorded on the police log of the incident did include the word "fat."

"I don't think she was severely reprimanded," the spokeswoman said, adding GMP had a policy to ensure officers used "appropriate language" that would not cause offence.

and now, our top story, brought to you by who did it and ran, ink!! top notch award winning crack reporter, Creamsicle Cat!

Bush To Appoint Someone To Be In Charge Of Country

WASHINGTON, DC�In response to increasing criticism of his handling of the war in Iraq and the disaster in the Gulf Coast, as well as other issues, such as Social Security reform, the national deficit, and rising gas prices, President Bush is expected to appoint someone to run the U.S. as soon as Friday.

Bush presents his shortlist for the Secretary of the Nation post.

"During these tumultuous times, America is in need of a bold, resolute person who can get the job done," said Bush during a press conference Monday. "My fellow Americans, I assure you that I will appoint just such a person with all due haste."

The Cabinet-level position, to be known as Secretary of the Nation, was established by an executive order Sept. 2, but has remained unfilled in the intervening weeks.

"I've been talking to folks from all across this country, from Louisiana to Los Angeles, and people tell me the same thing: This nation needs a strong, compassionate leader," Bush said. "In response to these concerns, I'm making this a top priority. I will name a good, qualified person as soon as possible."

Among the new secretary's duties are preserving, protecting, and defending the Constitution of the United States, commanding the U.S. armed forces, appointing judges and ambassadors, and vetoing congressional legislation. The secretary will also be tasked with overseeing all foreign and domestic affairs, including those relating to the economy, natural disasters, national infrastructure, homeland security, poverty, and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The secretary will report directly to the president.

For weeks, members of both political parties have been urging Bush to fill the post.

"Every day the president waits is another day he's accountable for needless deaths at home and abroad, the stagnating economy, and the threat of terrorism," Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) said. "This post is far too vital to be left vacant. Mr. President, there is no reason to delay."

"I applaud the president's decision to find a strong leader for our country, but it's imperative that he make his selection soon," said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), adding that he and all Democrats hope to work closely with the new national executive.

"In the spirit of bipartisanship, we will welcome the new secretary," Reid said. "Together, we will strive for a new dawn of American politics, one unmarred by partisan bickering between Congress and the White House."

According to a nationwide poll conducted by the Cook Political Report, the majority of U.S. citizens find the question of national leadership to be highly significant, with 61 percent of respondents "strongly" believing that the country is suffering from a leadership vacuum. Fifty-four percent said they trusted Bush to find an appointee who will be able to effectively manage the country.

While many Beltway insiders have named senators Barack Obama (D-IL) and John McCain (R-AZ) as likely candidates, White House sources revealed that Bush may be leaning toward a stalwart loyalist. The list reportedly includes fellow Yale graduates, Midland, TX business associates, and various GOP fundraisers with connections to the Bush family.

"Despite their inexperience in government, they've clearly passed the Bush character test," said a White House staffer who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "I think the president is looking for someone he's comfortable with and can trust, above all else. A [former FEMA director] Michael Brown type, or maybe even Brown himself."

Bush said the creation of the Secretary of the Nation post directly addresses the increasingly complex and sometimes overwhelming challenges facing the executive branch in the 21st century. Although he acknowledged that the tasks facing the new appointee will be extraordinary, Bush ended his announcement on a positive note.

"As your president, it is my duty to see this nation through any crisis, no matter how severe. And as your president, I pledge to you that I will find a man capable of doing just that," Bush said. "I will not�I repeat, I will not�let you down."

this, being SATURDAY, meaning that it is only three (3) more begging daze until i depart the friendly confines of the main offices of Who did it and ran, ink!! and climb aboard this thing:

to do this:

while i am gone, the offices of who did it and ran will be eagerly guarded against all enemies, foreign and domestic, by our personal Security Staff, headed by:

"

CAT OF THE DAY
/09

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