05:22 - Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2006
dreaming again......
recurring dreams......christmas christ!!! i hate recurring dreams......
dont they say recurring dreams come true? who the fuck is "they"??
disturbing.
back in the day, when i was locked up, awaiting trial, i used to goto sleep at night and dream of my freedom, and weird dreams they were! they say that it is common to be locked up and dream of freedom; who the fuck is "they"? anyhoo, one of the recurring dreams i used to have back then is this: i would be walking down a highway, kinda hitchhiking, then i would come across a 1953 buick, lime green for christ sakes! filled chock filled with suitcases of money, and even a floorboard cut out; safe filled with cash! and the keys in the ignition, and so i would hop in and drive away. but then, as i am driving this 1953 buick, chock full of cash, i would go back to 1953, back when all was right with the world, we had the commies at bay, and good ole ike was president!! and i would drive in a neighbourhood, all is familiar, and im happy, blissfully happy, and i would pull up into a driveway, then i would step out of the car, then would WAKE UP.
in the 2 and 1/2 years i was locked up awaiting trial, i would have this dream several times a week.
currently, on the recurring dream menu, is a confusion of life experiences, of sorts. in this dream, i find myself homeless, cincinatti and seattle intertwining together to become one city, and its 1943, and im at the salvation army, walking through the building like i belonged there, but i knew i really didnt belong there, and snuck into the kitchen to get some coffee. thats all i wanted, was coffee. then, getting the coffee, i walked out, and was sitting at a bus stop, with my homeless crew, and rolling smokes, and telling everyone to get the hell away from here, and go get the cash!! then, i was walking down the road, it was dark, and i was missing creamsicle, because i just left here, abandoned everything, and didnt tell anyone; im on a bus now, going down beacon hill, headed toward the mission, knowing i fucked up again, thinking that i have to toughen up, and not think of the cat; its raining again, dark, and chilly, standing in line, waiting for breakfast. then, i wake up here. confused, and thinking, why am i dreaming this shit dream, a combination of my previous life on the street, cities intertwining, all the places i been, different shelters, different cities, wandering aimlessly.
the cat wakes me up by scratching lightly on my elbow. its nice. its 4:30 folks, and all is well, and i have tears, wondering how much longer this good life will last. creamsicle has been fed, imus is on the tv, he is curled up inna ball, asleep by my feet. i have coffee, i have food, im warm and toasty. im wondering if i am truly happy, or just skating along, all settled in here; before, whenever i had a good thing going, something would always come along to fuck it up, and slap me back down in the gutter. right now, im manic about the rent. february rent is paid, and next payday, i will pay march's rent, and working on aprils rent. gotta pay the rent. its a constant worry. not having enough money. but i always have enough money. it all works out. but i worry constantly, and cannot relax about it. i wish i could.
i can seriously see myself back in a god damn rescue mission somewhere. looking for coffee.
i feel like what i have here today, its not gonna last forever. i wish it would, but i know in my heart, that it wont. all good things must come to an end, dammit, i dont want this good thing to end. i am tired of waiting for the anvil to fall on my head. like in the cartoon. im sorry for all the doom and gloom.
and ya know, just when i think things are fucked up, i read this....
Left without a leg to stand on...
PORTLAND, Oregon (Reuters) - An Oregon man hurled both of his prosthetic legs at a state trooper, striking him with one, after his son was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving, police said on Monday.
The incident on Friday began when the trooper stopped a sport utility vehicle going the wrong way on a highway in southern Oregon.
The trooper at first detained only the driver, Adam Kackstetter, 26, after he became aggressive. But then his father, Joel Kackstetter, 53, a passenger in the vehicle, grew hostile, a police spokesman said.
The senior Kackstetter charged at the arresting officer several times before the trooper knocked him to the ground, according to the police report.
"Passenger removed a prosthetic leg and threw it at trooper, hitting trooper in chest. Passenger removed second leg, threw it at trooper but missed," the report said.
The father and son face multiple charges including assault on a public safety officer.
"It got to be quite a dangerous situation. I think the officer used a lot of discretion and restraint in the amount of force that he used in this situation," said Ed Caleb, Klamath County district attorney.
A lawyer for the Kackstetters could not be immediately reached for comment.
MEATLOAF RECIPIE (theres a pie in recipie!!)
2 lbs ground lamb
1 lb ground beef
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 yellow onion, chopped
1 large carrot, peeled and chopped
1 large celery stalk, chopped
2 Tbsp chopped garlic (about 6 cloves)
2 Tbsp minced fresh ginger (3-inch piece)
1 1/4 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon sweet paprika
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon curry powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 1/4 cups dried bread crumbs
2 small eggs
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
2 Tbsp chopped fresh mint
1 Preheat the oven to 350�F. Combine the lamb and beef in a large bowl. Set aside.
2 Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion, carrot, celery, garlic, and ginger and cook for about 5 minutes, or until the onion is translucent. Add the salt, paprika, cumin, curry powder, cayenne, cinnamon, and pepper. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes to release the flavors. Remove from heat and let cool for 10-15 minutes.
3 Stir the vegetables into the ground meat. Mix in the bread crumbs, eggs, cilantro, and mint. Transfer to a 1 1/2 quart loaf pan and set in a baking pan. Pour water into the baking pan to reach halfway up the sides of the loaf pan.
4 Bake the meat loaf for 1 1/2 hours, or until firm and cooked through. Let rest for 10 to 15 minutes. Unmold onto a plate and slice. Serve with optional Pomegranate BBQ sauce, ketchup, or just the drippings from the meatloaf itself. Very good served with rice pilaf.
Serves 6-8. pizza pizza. ha! i was thinking of lil cesares pizza!
