instead i offer my friendship, love, and utmost respect. you have taken a lot of your life and turned it around and became something awesome and creative. i'm serious!!! a lot of people would agree with me.

if i ever get more than 30 minutes of not being busy - i'm working on you a letter. i just need to actually write it out and mail it to ya ha ha.
gianna | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 9:38 pm | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Smack*, in a big ol' smoooooooch-on-the-cheekie kind of way. Feeling down sucks, but you'll make it! It will get better!
Sally | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 3:34 pm | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm so sorry you have to go through depression. I know that when I have had a little bit of it it helps me to get out and do something for other people. If I could get my mind off of myself for a bit then I always felt better. It sounds like you might want more help than that. My Dad is manic depressive and refuses to take meds and he makes everyone around him miserable because he contsantly wishes he was dead and laments how his life is horrible when really he has a great life with a nice home, work and a family and grandchildren who love him. Just try and remember there is always someone whose life is worse than yours. *hug*
Requiel | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 1:25 pm | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, everyone else smacked you, so here's a hug instead. .:hug:.
golfwidow | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 11:42 am | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good Lord! You're starting to sound like my Woe is Me Mother. *SMACK* Snap out of it! You have a good life. You have us. That's all you need!
Kathy | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 10:58 am | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hang in, buddy. I am thinking of you!
Poolagirl | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 9:07 am | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*SMACK*
You're blessed indeed to have a home, a job, and so many many friends who love you. Like USSS! And MEEE! Think of all you've got now, that you didn't have years ago. CHOOSE to be happy. That's where it all starts.
*HUGS*
hcatty | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 8:50 am | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Depression SUCKS! Come play pogo with me. WheEEeeee!
BoXx | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 8:00 am | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Take it from someone who learned a long time ago - depression doesn't follow logical rules. I finally - FINALLY - got better recently, though occasionally I still have bouts to contend with. But it is a chemical imbalance in your brain. It is affected by things in your life, but it's not entirely controlled by them. Are you taking any kind of meds for depression? If not, maybe you can get that. There are programs to help when you can't afford it for mental health issues. Two of my kids got onto programs that not only helped pay for their meds, but helped them get jobs, get places to live, get into school, etc. You can do this - don't let the depression win *Hugs*
radiogurl | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 7:57 am | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i see what my dad is going through, and i dont want to live that long. seems we both need a good slap!
chocolate chaos | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 6:33 am | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

radiogurl hits the nail right on the head!! she knows what time it is!! yes, it is a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes this (yea thats right, my mind is warped! hahaha) and in answer to ya question, radiogurl, no i am not taking medications for this and refuse to. i used to be a walking drugstore. and it was the meds that landed me in the hospital more times than i wanna count. nothing really worked for me, and my whole philosophy on the drugs is this.

the meds only mask the problem the problem is still there, only hidden. theres no cure for bi-polar, only quick shiny fixes that are temporary. and the side effects!! sheesh!! no thanks!! i need to function in society, not be a blubbering idiot. so, i have decided to liberate my body from the drugs, and just ride the tide! (so sue me pogo!! haha) try to keep an even keel about things, and use diaryland on occasion to vent. which is cool.

i got lots to be thankful for, and all in all, im doin ok!! im not sleeping on a pissy mat on the floor in some church gym, and eating a rotten sandwich!! i have a job, and i pay bills and go grocery shopping!!

these things to me are novel, really. i mean, before, i never paid bills! i'd get a bill, and say, fuck that noise!! and not pay it! why should i? well, that was back when i had no function in life.

yesterday, when i was grocery shopping, i passed by the meat section. and there was a sign put up there "chicken cordon bleu, 12 bucks for 4"
and i got some. why not? and guess what? the butcher made them right there in front of me!! and they is HUGE!!! you might not think that this is a big deal, but to me it is.

people call me sir when im shopping. they dont follow me around waiting for me to shoplift!! and thats just swell!!

short story.

back a few years ago, toward the end of my hitchhiking daze, i found myself in south boston, virginia; and it was check day. this was back before everyone took atm cards for payment, so i had been to the atm machine, and got my wad of cash!

i had arrived in town, and back then, i used to goto places like sizzler and get me a steak, and chow down! well there was no sizzler, but a black angus resturant there, so i went inside.

now picture this, here i am, tee shirt, jeans, boots, and huge backpack, and smellin a lil ripe, having been on the road, but i was starving!! so, im in there, and its friday night, and everyone is all dressed up and smelling fresh, and the waitresses looked like models.

so, im in there, and the gal sez to me, can i help you??? in that irritating voice. ya know that voice, like she was really saying, jay sus crist!! what the fuck do you want?? so, i sez table for one! and she sat me inna booth, i toss my back pack under the table, and order up!! and doncha know, they all had eagle eyes on me, customers and waitresses. i was the grubbiest thing that was in there!! hahaha!! and when i finshed my supper, the waitress came right over, and handed me the check. it came to about 35 bucks, and i really disapointed them, when i walked up to the cashier, and took out my wad o' cash money, and paid the bill. hahahahaa!!! they was looking to see if i was gonna dine and dash, but i let em down!!!

now, the next morning, after i found a motel room, and had shit, showered and shaved, and put on fresh clothes, i went into another resturant for breakfast, this time, without the backpack. it was in the motel room, and i had got the room for the weekend.

now, doncha know, these folks in the breakfast resturant didnt even give me a second look? no one stared at me, and i got no nervous stares.

which goes to show you, people do judge a book by its cover, even though they shouldnt.

welp. i have to work tonight, so im gonna try to get some sleep. im working from 4 pm to 8 am.

thanks to all you swell people who dont judge this book by its cover!! you guys are swell!! thanks!!!

now, go ahead, and leave a snidey comment!!! hehheeheeee!!!

previous - next