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07:11 - Friday, Apr. 07, 2006
awwww shit!!!
ok, this may sound like im projecting, but frankly, im a lil nervous.
this falls under the mantra of: "whenever something good in my life comes along, something always comes along to kick me off my petastil, and knock me flat on my ass, where i belong!"

yesterday, i worked for doyle the manager, as he had a conference to goto. and when he came back, we were talking about the future of the rio grande hotel.




tax credits are supposed to be for 10 years. the rio grande is in its 12th year of tax credit. what this is, is a group of investors invest in a housing property, and they get a tax credit on it, and supposedly make money. in turn, the tenants get a break on the rent of the aptartment. the only way the investors make any money is if the property is 100% rented. the rio grande is not 100% rented. its hovering around 50%. so, its losing money. and has been for a long time.

theres been talk for the past few years of utah non profit housing selling the rio grande when the bank loans are paid off. its getting close to that point. when this happens, the building will be shut down, and there goes my job.

so we were talking about this, and i told doyle whats gonna happen to us when this happens? he said that i can get a security job anywhere. im thinking i dont want a fricken security job. i told doyle that he should reccommend me to manage a property. then, he said that his friend ed has a property in brigham city that he is looking for a manager. free rent. or that i should put in an app with utah non profit to be a manager. i said it would be easier for me if he reccommended me. he seemed for some reason to me like he didnt really wanna do that. then he said that kier management (who started utah non profit housing) has more properties, and i can go there if i want and apply with them. i told him i wanted to stay with utah non profit. familiarity, ya know. he sez that the director wants to discuss the future of the rio grande with him next week. and we were mulling over the possibilities of whats going to happen here. make studio apartments outta the rooms? i said that the rooms are too small to do that. we cannot make any additions to the building structure, we have to keep the facade intact, as it is a historical building. but, we can tear it down. thats the easiest approach it seems. to tear the building down and build studio apartments.

doyle has been hinting about that he may retire soon. (SEPTEMBER) he is 62, and had to quit smoking due to poor health. his blood pressure is haywire, and he needs to lower his stress. I for the one hand, feel that I do not have many options open to me. I'm feeling like i need to make a move, but i am afraid to. really scared to. I have no savings at all, been living paycheck to pay check. and barely able to make ends meet. and i am not living above my means whatsoever either. the way the economy is, the way the mexicans have invaded our country and have taken jobs here for lower wages, and im almost 50 (in 2 1/2 years) who is going to hire an old man? i want to work!!! i wasted alotta years living on the govt. dole and lazing around. thank you mr. bi-polar disorder. and i feel like the shit is gonna hit the fan soon. if doyle retires, there goes my job. i wont be asst. manager here anymore. my rent will stay the same doyle said, but i really dont know about that.

i asked doyle if he can tell ed to gimme a call about the managers opening in brigham city. i have met ed and he is a nice guy, like doyle. if ed hires me to manage the property in brigham city, thats free rent. all i will have to do is find a part time job to cover expenses. or maybe ed can pay me along with the free rent. i dunno. thats something to negotiate. if doyle calls him and tells him im interested!!!

lets see if that happens.

like i said before, im feeling trapped, and now, im scared as to what the future holds.

it may all work out in the end, who knows. feels like im living on the edge again, like the guy hanging off the cliff, and his grip is slipping.




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