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10 past 3 in the AM - Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2006 10 Best Excuses For Sleeping at Your Desk 10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time." 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem." 3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" 2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?" AND, THE NUMBER ONE BEST THING TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK: 1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus name, Amen."
this next one is for my pal reese219 who just found a job, but i just found this, lil late i suppose........ Job Application Lingo COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well. MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend. DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around. MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: We have no quality control. CAREER-MINDED: Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way). APPLY IN PERSON: If you're old, fat, or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled. SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left. PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I've used Microsoft Word. I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies. MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES: I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had. I'M PERSONABLE: I talk to other employeess at least 3 hours every work day. I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL: I carry a day planner and wear fancy shoes. I AM ADAPTABLE: I've been fired a lot.
Are you more... bi i bi, bi i bo, bi i bippy i bi i boo.......
doyle the manager told me he just gonna retire, not gonna manage aspenview or nothing! so, i may get that too! this outfit likes ya to manage more than one property. damn i HATE WAITING!!!!! im just full of anxiety and pressure!!! i seen george the construction man last evening, hes the guy i used to close the gates for. and even he said to me, " hi art! heard ya got a new job in there now" i sez not yet!! purty soon!! eeeeepppppp!!!! but, we gotta WAIT for the director, when he comes back, doyle will talk to him. director respects doyle and will listen to him. today is pogo wednesday!!! more challenges!!! i will be asleep!! hahaha yea, right! i will get a few hours sleep, then i will be up. thats ok. i will sleep wednesday night. moocher is doing better. hes limping normally now, but he wants to take friday night off, but he will work my saturday shift. uh, no, i dont think so. as much as i would like to do that, if he calls in sick friday night, then fat jason is gonna do my saturday shift. i told him to talk to doyle about that. and i will tell doyle about it in the morning. if he can work my saturday shift, he can work his scheduled friday night. we had a meeting about taking sick time when u aint sick. thats a no-no. interesting question: Can't sleep without .... i cant sleep without a full belly. if im hungry, i cant sleep. well, time for imus in the morning on the radio today!!! |