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12:46 - Thursday, Feb. 26, 2009
Lojack for laptops! wheeeee!!!

NEWSFLASH! A VERY DEE-LIGHT-FULL E-MAIL CAME TO ME NOT TOO LONG AGO, TO WIT:

Now Calling: Theft Report ID #27972 (Computrace Personal/LoJack for Laptops)
Inbox

Recovery Info to me
show details 11:33 AM (1 hour ago) Reply

Hi Arthur,

This computer has made a post-theft call to our monitoring center. We are actively working with law enforcement to recover it.

The recovery process for a missing computer is a legal process and requires the involvement of police. The average computer theft recovery timeframe with Computrace is 45 days. The process is outlined below:

1) We contact the police and identify the Detective assigned to the case
2) We explain the theft recovery process, including what Computrace is and how it works
3) We fax the necessary documentation to the Detective so s/he can obtain a signed subpoena by a judge
4) Your local law enforcement serves the Internet Service Provider (the owner of the IP address your machine is calling from) with the subpoena
5) The ISP sends its subscriber records to the police investigator. The timeframe for the return of these records varies from a few days to a couple of weeks or longer, depending on the ISP.
6) Using the records provided by the Internet Service Provider, the Detective obtains a search warrant and searches the residence.

The Theft Recovery Officer assigned to your case is Alex, who can be contacted at [email protected]. Please be sure to reference your theft report ID in the subject line to ensure the email is properly delivered.

We will notify you as soon as your machine has been recovered.

Should you have any questions or would like a status update, please do not hesitate to email us or contact us at the number below.

Warm Regards,

The Recovery Department
----------------------------------------
Absolute Software Corp.
Computrace LoJack for Laptops
Recovery Hotline: 1.866.545.0063
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.absolute.com
----------------------------------------
october 12th was the day that i got ripped off, remember? well, now, things seem to be looking up!!!! in that regard anyhoo. frankly, i had given up hope about this! now, im all excited!!!

i started to post an entree this morning from the employment office, but, i had to leave due to circumstances beyond my control. this skeexix next to me, who looked and smelled like a water buffalo, was all up in my space while i was trying to do an entree and other stuff. he smelled like rancid vomit, and i left before my temper exploded. i had had enuf of this garbage. and to make matters worse, hot lunch thursday was a big washout, i just came from there, and there were so many crackheads and morons in there, i just decided to get up and leave. i have had my fill of these mongrels. they got lockers for rent now at the mission, get this, a very small locker, $20 a month, AND a $12 key deposit!!! they only sold 3 so far! for the $32 the mission wants you can get a huge 5X5 ROOM at any storage place in town!

soon, i will be getting my refund from the gubbermint, and i will be ok

soon, i will get my laptop back, and i will be pickled pink!

soon, i will be getting a job, and i will be well

soon, i will get my own room again, and once again be a renter in good standing, instead of a sniveling tramp, and all will be right again!

soon, our Lord and saviour President Obama will bring peace to the land, a job for all, and prosperity and respect once again, and all will be right with the world!

it snowed about 4 am this fine morning, and panic started to ensue, as one inch of the sinewy white stuff fell across the valley, but unlike the 3 inch melee we had in december, as of this writing, it has all dissipated from the frontier, and panic was averted!

im all giddy with giddyness, and when im done here inna hour i need to call lojack and get the lo-down! woo hoo!!!

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