|
06:09 - 29 September 2004 Before we begin todays episode.... I remember the mass in latin. scared the shit out of me, sometimes literally! I started going to mass with my brother when i was 4. MA would give us a shiny nickle to put in the "poor box" with the admonition that we damn well better put the nickle in the poor box, GOD was WATCHING! well, right across the street from St. Theresa's Holy Roman Catholic Church was an Apothecary. and in it was glass jars with MALTED MILK BALLS! well, my brother and i would go before mass and get some malted milk balls! so much for the poor box! we would go into church and sit in the back. organs playing soulful music, the procession down the aisle with the priest and alter boys and the priest flinging holy water at everybody; then up at the alter, the candles; looking at the candles would ALWAYS make me cry; the light would pierce my eyes; i used to think that back in those days, the priest had magical powers! during the holy eucharist, his fingers would shoot lightning bolts, and turn the WATER into WINE, just like Christ! and the hosts! before holy communion, the priest with lightning bolts coming out of his hands, would turn those hosts into the Body of Christ! I was too young at the time to recieve holy communion, so lets fast forward a few years to.... Practicing to recieve my First Holy Communion! SO, there you have it! condemned for life! what a thing to say to a gullable kid! thats the news from lake oh my gawd, where all the women are strong, the men are good looking, and the children are above average.... the story you have just read is true! no names were mentioned because i cant remember any! |