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07:30 - 27 November 2004
bipolar
MAN AM I PISSED!!!

good morning everybuddy!

not REALLY pissed, disapointed, maybe?

WELL i dunno; I was reading someone's diary and after i read it i was miffed!
then i checked that persons buddy list, and they had taken me off it.

BUT, thats not the main reason for how i feel today, which, by the way wont last long. i'm not gonna let it bother me, and will say "o well!" and after i type this, will dismiss it like flushng the toilet!

i have a what i think is a humourous disclaimer at the end of the page; at least in my opinion, its humourous; and i do believe that people have the right not to read this if they so choose.

so there.

NOW, as all of you know i have a BI-POLAR DISORDER; and because of it, i may say things which are inaproprate without realising it at first.
i was reading this perons diary when they mentioned that they lost a friend not to death, but to bi-polar disease.
as i was reading that, i realised that this person has given up on her friend, and chooses not to associate with that person anymore! now to me, in my opinion, THATS TOTALLY FUCKED UP!!!!
the last thing a person with bi-polar needs is someone who is a "friend" to just drop that person and give up on them. thats not a real friend. thats TOTAL IGNORANCE!!! a so called "EDUCATED" person deciding that they cannot deal with a friend with bi-polar disorder! "tears streaming down their face, i hope she gets the help she needs"... what an asshole!!!
how can somebody be so callous? people who have bi-polar should not be shunned!
if your friend has cancer, whould you turn ya back on them? how about altzheimers? run like hell?? apparently this person would!! i guess she feels that since this "friend" is not "normal" that she cannot no longer deal with it, so they will throw away a friendship like tossing out the garbage!
what is normal? and who decides what is normal? society? society is fucked up!
people should really educate themselfs on mental illness. its not THE PLAGUE!! it wont rub off on you!! people in my condition DO NOT have many friends, tend to STAY ALONE, and in the worst cases, COMMIT SUICIDE!!! it is very hard to live with this affliction; it is a disease of the BRAIN! a chemical imbalance occurs that warps perception, creates mood swings to the extreme and there is NO CURE for it. recently, i have returned to taking medication for this because everything was starting to close in and suffocate me. i am trying my best to survive on this planet umongst the "normal" people. i DO NOT have many friends. what becomes somewhat traumatic is when someone tells me that they cannot be a friend anymore because they cannot handle me being bi-polar! how FUCKING SHALLOW!!!
a person like that needs so much to be educated on this condition. HEY FUCKFACE! IM A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC TOO! WITH DAMN NEAR 19 YEARS SOBERITY IN ME!! IS THAT TOO MUCH FOR YA TOO?? HUH?? HUH??

some peoples children! sheesh!

people are NOT PERFECT! we ALL have afflictions of one sort or another!
we are all equal here no one is better than the other; you may have had the oppurtunity to goto college and get a degree; you may have the ability to hold down a job; you are not above me!
i am learning how to hold a job. its scary. im gonna have more money soon, and thats scary! im learning how to stay put and not go off travelling every which way on a whim and end up in a fucking shelter broke! you need to be patient with people in my condition, not throw away like garbage and give up!
for those who do give up, i say FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! I DONT NEED YOUR HIGH AND MIGHTYNESS IM BETTER THAN YOU BULLSHIT!

SHAMEFUL, it is!

SO, i will no longer read that persons diary.

Move on, next case!

if you have questions about bi-polar disorder, ask questions, i will be joyously happy to explain. i ENCOURAGE you to ask questions! and dont worry, it wont rub off on you! its not contagious!

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