03:12 - 08 December 2004
ONE MESSED UP TUESDAY!
HOWDY FOLKS! ONCE AGAIN, I'M WOKEN UP AT 1:30 INNA MORNING, HACKING UP 3/4 OF THE LUNG! CHEESUS! I'M TIRED OF THIS! OH I CAN TAKE A PILL AND RENDER MYSELF UNCONSCIOUS FOR 8 TO 10 HOURS; WHILST DREAMING TWISTED PSYCHOTIC DREAMS OF PAST EVENTS IN MY LIFE AND EX WIFE (WHOM I RARELY THINK ABOUT, LET ALONE REMEMBER HOW SHE LOOKS ANYMORE).........
YESTERDAYS MAIN EVENTS:
LAUNDRY DAY, ALL DAY! THANK GAWD WE HAVE WASHERS AND DRYERS IN THE BUILDING! 75C TO WASH AND 50C TO DRY; BUT HERES THE CATCH ON THE DRYING: YOU NEED $2.00 PER LOAD TO DRY PROPERLY!
CLEANING OF THE PALACE! I BEEN A LAZY PIG THE PAST FEW DAZE AND LET THINGS ACCUMULATE, IT WAS BAD, I WAS STEPPING OVER COMPUTER PARTS, AND OTHER ASSORTED JUNK! SO I DONE EVERYTHING BUT VACCUMM, IT REALLY DONT NEED VACCUMMING, AS I DO NOT TOSS JUNK ON THE FLOOR TO REQUIRE CONSTANT VACCUMMING!
THE SWAMP COOLER IS GRAVEYARD DEAD!! WHILST CLEANING, THE SWAMP COOLER RATTLED AND DIED! AT FIRST, I THOUGHT I HAD BLOWN A FUSE, BUT AFTER TRYING SEVERAL WALL SOCKETS, THE OLD BEAST REFUSED TO SPRING BACK TO LIFE!
ELECTROLUX SWAMP COOLER (1950's-2004), AW SWAMPY, YOU WAS COOL, BUT WE HARDLY KNEW YE! REST IN PIECES, YOU BEAST! SO, NOW CAME THE TASK OF "BURIAL" IE: THROW THE PIECE OF SHIT INNA DUMPSTER! WELL THIS SUCKER WAS HEAVY, CAUSE THE OTHER DAY, I FILLED IT WITH 5 GALLONS OF WATER, AND HAD BARELY USED IT CAUSE OF THE SICKLY RATTLING AND WHINE;(IT WAS CALLING OUT, TRYING TO TELL ME IT WAS DYING, BUT I DIDNT LISTEN) SO I GOT THE 2 WHEELER OUT AND PLACED IT ON THERE AND STARTED TO WHEEL IT OUT TO THE DUMPSTER, MEANWHILE, THE WATERSTARTED FLOODING OUT OF THE SWAMP COOLER AS I WAS WHEELING IT OUT TO THE DUMPSTER, MARKING A TRAIL FROM MY ROOM, DOWN THE HALL, WHERE CLADY THE HOTEL CLEANER WAS VACCUMMING THE HALLWAY, THE FONE RINGS AS I WAS GOING OUT THE DOOR, (CORDLESS FONE) I ANSWER IT, AND CANT HEAR CAUSE THE NOISY VACCUMMING, AND TRYING TO MANIPULATE THE COOLER OUT THE DOOR WHILE LEAVING A TRAIL OF WATER ON THE RUG FROM MY ROOM TO THE DUMPSTER OUTSIDE, IN BARE FEET, 25 DEGREES OUTSIDE, AND YELLING INTO THE FONE,"WHOEVER THIS IS, WAIT A MINUTE I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THIS RACKET!!!" THEN, ONCE OUTSIDE, HEAVING THE COOLER INTO THE DUMPSTER!! THEN THE FONE CALL; IT WAS THE FONE COMPANY, ASKING ME IF I NEED MORE FONE SERVICES; I TOLD THE POOR SAP HE WAS A FUCKING IDIOT, AND HUNG UP! AS FOR THE TRAIL OF WATER THE COOLER LEFT, I HID IN MY ROOM FOR A WHILE, FEELING BAD ABOUT IT, AND WONDERING WHAT TO DO, I CAN HEAR CLADY WAS ANGRY CAUSE HE WAS SLAMMING DOORS AROUND, THE MAINTENENCE CREW CAME BY AND STARTED FIXING UP ONE OF THE ROOMS BY BANGING AND TEARING UP OLD CARPET IN THE ROOM THEY WAS WORKING ON, MEANWHILE, MY DSL MODEM DECIDED TO QUIT WORKING FOR A WHILE, AND MY SHIT LEVEL WAS RISING, AND I WANTED TO SCREAM!!!! DOYLE THE MANAGER LOOKED AT ME WHAT I PERCIEVED TO ME ANGRILY AS HE CAME DOWN THE HALL TO GO OUT TO HIS TRUCK TO GO SOMEWHERE, AND HE SHUT THE LOBBY DOWN; WHEN HE LEAVES, HE USUALLY ASKS ME TO WATCH THE LOBBY TIL HE GETS BACK, BUT THIS TIME HE DIDNT; I FIGURED HE WAS PISSED AT ME...SO, 45 MINUTES LATER, HE CAME BACK, AND I WENT OUT TO THE LOBBY ON THE PREMISE OF CHECKING MY MAILBOX, AND I SHEEPISHLY WENT INTO THE OFFICE, AND SEZ TO HIM, HOW YA DOIN? HE SEZ OK, SO I TELL HIM ABOUT THE MESS I MADE, THAT I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT, AND HE SEZ ITS OK THE RUG WILL DRY!
THE DSL MODEM DECIDED TO COME BACK TO WORK, AND I WAS ABLE TO GO ONLINE AGAIN! I CALLED THE FONE COMPANY TO SEND ME OUT A NEW MODEM CAUSE THIS AINT THE 1ST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED, AND SINCE I RENT THE MODEM FOR 3 BUCKS A MONTH, PLUS TAX, I AM ENTITLED TO A REPLACEMENT. THE MORON I SPOKE TO SEZ I NEED TO GIVE THEM A DEPOSIT BEFORE THEY WILL SEND OUT A NEW MODEM, AND THE REASONING THEY GAVE WAS THAT PEOPLE WERE NOT RETURNING THE MODEM. WELL, THE SCREAMING AND CUSSING STARTED AS I GAVE IT TO THEM WITH BOTH BARRELLS! KABOOM!! KABOOM!!! I THEN TOLD THIS FOOL THAT I RENT THIS PIECE OF SHIT AND YOU WILL SEND ME OUT A NEW ONE WITHOUT A DEPOSIT, AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT YOU CAN CALL THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF QWEST AT THE EXECUTIVE OFFICE IN DENVER, AND PROCEEDED TO GIVE THE LACKEY THE DIRECT LINE! THEN, THE MORON SEZ, LET ME PUT YOU ON HOLD AND TALK TO MY MANAGER....SO AFTER BEING ON HOLD FOR 5 MINUTES OR SO, IT CAME BACK ON THE LINE AND SHEEPISHLY APOLOGISED TO ME ANS TOLD ME A NEW MODEM WILL BE SENT OUT RIGHT AWAY, AND THAT I WILL GET IT THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, AND FORGIVE ME FOR ANY MISUNDERSTANDING. I TOLD IT THERE WAS NO MISUNDERSTANDING, THAT YOU MUST THINK IM AN IDIOT OR SOMETHING, AND THAT YOU WERE TRYING TO SCREW ME WITHOUT BENEFIT OF ORGASM, AND HUNG UP ON THE BASTARD! FRIGGEN FONE COMPANY! EVERYTHING HAS TO BE SO COMPLICATED!!
OH WELL! THE LAUNDRY WAS DRYED AND CLOTHES FOLDED AND PUT AWAY, AND I PROCEEDED TO COOK ME UP SOME PORK CHOPS WITH FRIED TATERS AND CORN, AND A SLICE OF RUBARB PIE, OH MY!
WHEN I OPENED THE LIL FRIDGE TO GET THE PIE, THERE WAS WATER ON THE BOX!!! WTF?? I LOOKED ABOUT, AND SEEN THAT THE FRIDGE WAS DEFROSTING!!!! WTF?? IT WAS PLUGGED IN WITH THE EXTENSION CORD!! COME TO FIND OUT, THE EXTENSION CORD SHIT THE BED AND DIED, TOO! AGGGGGGGG! SO NOW, I HAVE TO DRAG THE FRIDGE OUT OF ITS LIL CUBBY HOLE, AND MOVE IT CLOSER TO A WALL SOCKET!! NO PROBLEM!! WHAT ELSE WILL GO ALL FUCKED UP ON ME TODAY?? WELL, GOOD NEWS, DOYLE THE MANAGER TOLD ME TO GO GET A AIR CONDITIONER FROM DOWN IN THE BASEMENT! MY ROOM GETS CRISPY HOT AND I NEED SOMETHING TO COOL IT DOWN, AND MY WINDOW DOES NOT OPEN TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD, RATHER IT OPENS UP TO THE STORAGE ROOM. THE ROOMS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF ME OPEN TO THE OUTSIDE, BUT THEY ARE SMALLER ROOMS. WELL, THATS THAT! A TYPICAL FUCKED UP DAY IN THE LAND OF WHO DONE IT AND RAN, INK!!! WHERE ALL THE WOMEN ARE STRONG, ALL THE MEN ARE GOOD LOOKING, AND THE CHILDREN ARE ABOVE AVERAGE!
