ever notice that every year, there is one or two famous people that decide to croak AFTER the list of famous people that croaked comes out?

i didnt even know susan sontag and jerry orbach was even remotley sick!
i wonder what famous person is gonna croak today?

i dont know what to do about my sleep pattern...i know i CAN turn to pills to fix it, but i used to be a walking drug store in my own right, and that was a mess to kick, so i aint going back there; my theripst thinks its a good idea, but there has to be a better way..

i mean, damm, i aint even took any naps lately; i woke up abruptly at midnite, 1:30am, then 3 am, and sez fuck it, im up for the day!
i went to sleep at 11pm!!!
at midnite, i was minty fresh;
at 1:30 i was bladderful;
at 3 i was coughing my ass off cause i shut off my air at 1:30 and the dry heat kicked in!!
so now its 3:30 and im on my 2nd cuppa chocolate coffee, and 3rd cigarette!
if i was inna shelter, i'd be lying on my mat, staring at the ceiling, softly cussing;
if i was inna shelter in RENO, i'd get up, goto the circus circus 24 hr coffee shop, and read the paper and drink coffee..
i much prefer being where i'm at right now, thanky yous!
how many of ya gonna get shit-assed stinkin drunk for new years?? i remember those daze!!! it WAS fun!!
i dont care if ya do, i just cannot handle it anymore; as a result, on january 8th, ELVIS' 70th birthday, I will be 19 YEARS SOBER!!!!

and now, heres a strange, BUT TRUE story from my checkered past, mind you no names were mentioned, cause i cant remember any!

Back in the early 80's after i left the navy, and before steven was born, i was working as a security guard in an apartment complex in a major east coast city, my boozing and dopin was on equal terms, i guess you could say, one offset the other, i dunno; i never really had a problem with drugs, so to speak, i was always able to put em down, with no problem my future ex-wife knew i took pills, and did dope, and the booze wasnt just yet a problem, and she didnt seem to care; anyhoo, im drifting here........

One fine night, it was a sunday, i remember, i was working, sitting in my "patrol car" (hehehee) one of the things i had to do was drive about the complex, it was HUGE, several acres, and 8 buildings and several pay parking garages; one of the overnight garage attendants had given me this HUGE JOINT to smoke, and it was tasty! as i was finishing up,and sitting outside a garage exit, some yo yo came barrelling out of the garage, smashed the gate arm and drove off!!

WELL! the chase begins!!! da da de da!!
lights and siren ablasing, i chased this idiot all over the place, just like on ADAM -12!! i was MALLOY!! zoom-zooming thru the city! HIGH AS A KITE!

SOON, the REAL COPS were in the chase, and we corralled this miscreate!!
HOW DARE HE smash MY GATE and take off!!!

ITS A LUCKY thing the REAL COPS that was in the chase, i knew em, and i got out of the car, and it was all i could do to stand up straight, and put on a straight attitude!! using the car for support, i told the cops why i was chasing this moron! and then they asked me what I wanted to do, I mumbled something along the lines of kicking this guys ass, but i ended up sayin that he destroyed property and left without paying; he got arrested, and we all left...

NOW as i was driving back to the apartment complex, the full force of the shit i had smoked kicked in, and for some strange reason, i decided to go HOME! it was about 3 am, and i was hauling ass across a bridge, and all of a sudden, i was MARIO ANDRETTI at INDY in the BIG RACE!!! sheesh! as i was going around the far turn, winning, of course, i got the major (at the time) SHOCK of my life........

my window was CLOSED, and the itsy, bitsy spider came up the window door!
he was GROWING!!! (to this day, it chills me to recall this) and he wiggled his way up the window, thru the crack and leaped firmly and planted hisself SQUARE ON MY FACE!!! as i was DRIVING!!!! i swear to gawd, to this day i dont know how i maintained control of the car, but i was slapping my face like CURLY on the 3 stooges, trying to smash this monster that was eating my face!!!!!

i stopped the car.. the spider was gone.. i was breathing heavy, wondering what the fuck i was doing?!?!
so i went back to work, got off shift and went home; the next day i get a call from my supervisor saying, good job!! and later on that night, i went back to work, and asked the guy whom gave me the fat joint what the fuck was in that thing that made me hallucinate like that!!! he sez its something new out, called "angel dust"
so i tole him never again...

later on that evening, he gave me another fat joint, and i smoked it and passed out!!!!

my supervisor found me passed out in the car and fired me!!!

AW SHIT! anutter job, down the shitter!!

i went home and tole the future ex-wife, and she was pissed, and tole me to choose, either the drugs or her, of course, i chose her.......

maybe i shudda chose the drugs.......

NAW! i did choose to stop the dope, but then the booze started to escalate; and that my pals is anutter tale of woe!!
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thas all folks!!!
dont forget to bring in the cat and feed em, its cold outside!!!

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