05:54 - 23 February 2005
ABC SUCKS ASS!!!!
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
FACT OF THE DAY
One of the most famous photographs of all time is taken today in 1945 when Joe Rosenthal snaps a group of five US Marines and one Navy Corpsman raising the Stars and Stripes over Mount Suribachi on the island of Iwo Jima in the Pacific. The picture actually represents the second raising of the flag, but it has gone on to be one of history's most celebrated images, nonetheless.
This is the original photograph by Joe Rosenthal. It was later cropped to become the photo we all know.
Damn, ya know, im really pissed at ABC now! did you see last nights episode of NYPD blue? at the end of the episode, andy becomes the boss of the squad, when the chief of detectives recieved a call from the Lt. who was the boss (he got shot) recommending that andy be the boss. andy at first didn't want the job, but, at the beginning of the episode, when the squad gets a Lt. who doesn't care about what goes on, and all he wants to do is sit in the office and read the paper, andy tells the boss he wants to take over. now, at first, when the chief of D's talks with andy, he tells andy it aint gonna happen, after all, andy has only been a Sgt. for all of five minutes, and there is a long line of Lt.'s ahead of him, who has vested in their time. andy convinces the chief that he can do the job; he knows the squad, he has been a detective over 25 years; so on and so forth; so the chief takes a chance and makes andy the boss.
next weeks finale will be a 2 hour affair; andy makes a mistake and the chief of d's rips him a new asshole! now, there aint gonna be anymore new NYPD blue episodes with andy as the boss. that is a friggen rip-off. he has been thru hell inna handbasket over the past 12 years; drinking on the job, getting shot up more than once, losing his long time partner to cancer; getting sober; his 2nd wife who was an ada was shot and killed, leaving andy to raise his son alone; having reconciled with his grown son from the 1st marraige, andy jr. who became a cop, and andy jr. was then killed in the line of duty; almost relapsing; losing another partner who was also killed; having to deal with one of the detectives becoming on the verge of being an alcoholic; overcoming his racism by having a black boss who taught andy lessons in life; then having a rookie partner and having to train him to be a detective, and the rookie has a dad who was on the job, and retired, then killed himself; getting remarried again; all these things happens and finally, after paying his dues, he becomes the boss, and then the show ends!! what a fucken rip-off!!
as i said before, the new cop show replacing NYPD BLUE will NOT LAST!!! the concept behind the show is idiotic; blind justice; a detective who gets shot and becomes blind, then has to convince eveyone he can still be a detective! how friggen stupid is that!
if you watch NYPD BLUE like i do, and are pissed like i am that the show is ending, and being replaced with a fucked up cop show that wont last, boycott ABC like i will on tuesday nights, and switch over to NBC at 10-9 central for LAW AND ORDER SVU, and watch that! fuck ABC! assholes!!!! the only time i ever watch ABC was for NYPD BLUE now that thas gone, well, fuck em! ABC SUCKS ASS!
