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03:40 - Tuesday, Aug. 02, 2005 DAILY DRIVEL ACTIVITY OF THE DAY: hay boys and gurls, notice the bright red kitty on the top left hand corner? NO YOUR OTHER LEFT!! hehheee! anyhoo, he may be asleep, but if you click on him, he will follow your mouse arrow all around the page! guarnteed for hours of fun! try it, its free!!then, when you get fed up with the kitty, click on him again, and he will run like hell back up to the corner! so, its tuesday, lets see whats going on and what happened long ago and far away! In what was perhaps the greatest victory for people who can't stay hunched over for a terribly long time or are just too damn lazy to tie their goddamn shoes, Velcro was invented on this day in 1955 by a Swiss scientist. Velcro consists of two sides: the "hook" side (that's the harder plasticky side) and the "loop" side (that's the fuzzy side). They are also sometimes called "posi-cro" and "neg-cro," but apparently no one knows which side is which. Velcro: the invention so lazy, even the inventors didn't finish naming it. And in what is perhaps the greatest day of infamy in the lives of both Presidents Bush, Iraq invaded Kuwait on this day in 1990. George Sr. doesn't like this day because it started the First Gulf War, redirected his attention from the recession at home to the war abroad and led to his unseating at the hands of Bill Clinton. George Jr. doesn't like this day because he knocked over his bong getting out of bed in the morning, ruined an energy company in the afternoon and the Houston Outback Steakhouse had a 45-minute wait that night. Some days are worse than others. HITLER BECOMES F�HRER: With the death of German President Paul von Hindenburg, Chancellor Adolf Hitler becomes absolute dictator of Germany under the title of F�hrer, or "Leader." The German army took an oath of allegiance to its new commander-in-chief, and the last remnants of Germany's democratic government were dismantled to make way for Hitler's Third Reich. The F�hrer assured his people that the Third Reich would last for a thousand years, but Nazi Germany collapsed just 11 years later. See what happens when you take it up the ass?? 1923 Harding dies before scandals break In a hotel in San Francisco, President Warren G. Harding dies of a stroke at the age of 58. Harding was returning from a presidential tour of Alaska and the West Coast, a journey some believed he had embarked on to escape the rumors circulating in Washington of corruption in his administration. Harding, a relatively unremarkable U.S. senator of Ohio, won the Republican presidential nomination in 1920 after the party deadlocked over several more prominent candidates. Harding ran pledging a "return to normalcy" after World War I and in November was elected the 29th U.S. president in a landslide election victory. Conscious of his own limitations, Harding promised to appoint a cabinet representing the "best minds" in America, but unfortunately he chose several intelligent men who possessed little sense of public responsibility. In the summer of 1923, as Washington began discussing rumors of corruption in the departments of the Interior and Justice and in the Veterans Bureau, Harding departed on a speaking tour of Alaska and the West. On August 2, he died of an embolism, perhaps brought on by worry over the political scandals about to explode on the national stage. Early the next morning, Vice President Calvin Coolidge was sworn in as president by his father, a notary public, in his family home in Plymouth, Vermont. BREAKING NEWS FROM THE OVERNIGHT DESK IN THE OFFICES OF WHO DID IT AND RAN, INK!! WE INTERUPT THIS EDITION OF THE DAILY DRIVEL TO PRESENT THIS SPECIAL REPORT MANY U.S. CITIES LOSING BATTLES TO PRESERVE THEIR BURGER KINGS CLEVELAND�Every day, 38-year-old Susan Tarsley takes a brisk walk through her tree-lined neighborhood. At each turn, she is reminded of the changes brought on by the march of progress: a TV antenna dismantled to make way for underground cable, passersby chatting on cell phones, a rusty tricycle abandoned for a Razor scooter. "I came here as a child when it first opened," said Tarsley, strolling through the empty, weed-strewn parking lot. "Now that I have kids, where are they supposed to go for Whoppers or Chicken Tenders? We need to ask ourselves, as a culture, 'Where are our priorities?'" Once nearly as plentiful as McDonald's, Burger Kings are quickly becoming the fast-food franchise of a bygone era. A 2004 survey of fast-food diners showed that nearly 60 percent did not live within walking distance of a Burger King. Another 20 percent had to drive to a nearby town just to see one. Although the Lark Street store closed its doors last November, not all communities are giving up their Burger Kings without a fight. In Seattle, volunteer canvassers went door-to-door, collecting signatures to save the Burger King on Rainier Avenue. As a result of their efforts, Mayor Greg Nickels granted the store historic-landmark status. "There are children alive today who don't know what a Whaler is," the mayor said at the signing ceremony. "All their lives, they've known only the McDonald's Filet-O-Fish. If you look into the eyes of such a child, you realize why it's important that we save our shared Burger King heritage." In Phoenix, mother of two Gloria Poenig organized a community-action BK Broiler-buying group to help raise awareness of the fast-food chain's plight. Although isolated heroes have saved some Burger Kings from the bulldozer, the problems of maintaining the franchises persist. With an 8 percent decline in patronage since 2002, the chains are plagued by vandalism, high employee turnover, and disappointing sales of french-toast sticks. For those at the forefront of the battle to save their Burger Kings, the issue is not saving the brick-and-mortar buildings, but embracing the Burger King philosophy. Steve Quislen, a Chicago-based civil rights and labor lawyer, has been doing pro-bono work on behalf of Burger King for 12 years. Members of his group, Coalition To Save Our Franchise Landmarks, meet every Sunday at the Bedford Street Burger King, where they don the cardboard crown of the Burger King Kids Club, eat Bacon Double Cheeseburgers, and enjoy what may soon become a lost way of life. "We need to stand up and be counted before the things that make our society great�like Burger King's new Enormous Omelet Sandwich�vanish forever," Quislen said. Despite the efforts of thousands of dedicated Burger King activists like Quislen, even die-hard believers like Tarsley say they are losing faith. "Whenever I drive by a strip mall or new shopping district without a Burger King in it, I can't help but shed a tear," Tarsley said. "It is truly a sad reminder of inevitable change and decline." As she began the walk back home from Lark Street's once-proud "Home Of The Whopper," Tarsley resolved to do everything in her power to preserve this hallowed source of budget meals, for her children, and her children's children. "I won't throw in the towel until the last Burger King is gone," Tarsley said. "I will fight this fight wherever it is being fought, whether it's on the airwaves, the national news, or in the parking lots of the restaurants themselves. I will not let Burger King go the way of Sambo's and Kenny Rogers Roasters." THIS HAS BEEN BREAKING NEWS FROM THE OVERNIGHT DESK IN THE OFFICES OF WHO DID IT AND RAN, INK!!!! tomorrow i will change the elvis song, i am taking requests, though! what would you like to hear? just email me at [email protected] or say what ya wanna hear in the comments! in case you missed it yesterdays cat of the day, was a regular riot! im gonna repeat it today, but i added something to it! hehhehehheeee!! CAT OF THE DAY!!! HAHAHHAHAHAAA!!!! FACT OF THE DAY THE FLAVOUR CANT BE BEAT! RED MEAT!
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