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07:01 - Thursday, Sept. 01, 2005 1st of september!!! wooo!!!! just about 6 weeks til journalcon 2005!! im excited!!! im going to meet my old pal chocolate chaos, who told me about diaryland here, and also rub shoulders and raise hell with the world famous pie-rat, poolagirl!!! are ya coming? cmon!! hitch them horses up to the wagon, and hit the dusty trail to san diego, and join us!!! im a lucky ducky today i tell ya!! last night, i put pork chops in the oven, and came back here to the puter, and promptly fell asleep. i woke up sometime later to find the oven billowing with smoke and crispy critter chops inside!! yum, yum!!! it smelled like raw sewage!! people came by and sez whats that smell?? woo!!! so, today, i will collect rents from those that pay themselves, everybuddy here has until the 5th to ante up, but there will be no problem here. one guy who gets his rent paid by the mormans, may not get his rent paid by them. so we will wait and see!! i been yakking with my pal boXx this morning on yahoo messenger, then she went poof!!! o well!!! we will yak later!! so, in closing, heers some thursday stuff!!! Today is the first day of September, which means it's also the first day of a whole host of important commemorative months. And not a moment too soon. For as our nation's children prepare for their return to school, parents everywhere once again grow anxious over such safety concerns as rampant bullying, the threat of molestation by crossing guard and virulent strains of vaccination-resistant cooties. Get a head start on schoolyard security with Backpack Safety America Month, when kids can learn valuable tips such as the recommended maximum weight for a loaded backpack (no more than 15 percent of your body weight), and which packs have the best hidden yet accessible zippered pockets for you to store your dimebag after you pop out for a quick smoke during study hall. Those parents whose kids are a little too young for backpack safety will probably appreciate that September is also Baby Safety Month. And for those celebrating both events, a reminder to our readers engaged in human trafficking: When securing babies in your backpack for transport over state lines, make sure the total gross weight is no more than 15 percent of your body weight. After all, it would be a shame to damage your baby-smuggling backpack and have to go back to the old days of stuffing a baby in a condom and shoving it up your ass. Finally, for those who favor more "alternative" pursuits, September is International Gay Square Dance Month, lending a whole new meaning to the phrase "swing your partner." This month, be sensitive to our friends in the GSD community. After all, it's hard enough coming out of the closet once without having to admit you're also a square dancing enthusiast!! well thats all there is, there is no more!!! leave a snidey comment, ok?? cya!!! FACT OF THE DAY CAT OF THE DAY ZIPPY!!!!!
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