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05:53 - Wednesday, Sept. 07, 2005
wednesday junk!
Hey, welcome back. Long weekend is over. That taste lingering at the top of your mouth? That's ash, along with some leftover tequila residue from sometime between Friday afternoon and about 3 a.m. this morning. As we get older, long weekends transmogrify (that's today's Ingmar Bergman word) from four uninterrupted days of vice and obliteration to a desperate search for precious sleep. This is sad, but this is aging. Sorry you had to learn this the hard way. We suggest chocolate milk; you'd be amazed the effectiveness of this somewhat unconventional hangover cure. And hey, it makes for strong bones, healthy teeth and a winning smile.

So anyway, it's time to get back to work, not just for you, but for Congress. Most people don't realize this, but Congress takes an incredibly high number of vacation days; if the rest of the country took as much vacation as members of Congress did, our gross national product would decrease to five bolt washers, six cups of pudding and a few stray cigarettes. Last week, Congress took time out of its vacation -- harrumphing the same way your grandfather used to harrumph when he had to get up to change the channel because the remote wasn't working -- to convene an emergency session, which was nice, considering we happen to be in the midst of the worst national natural disaster in any of our lifetimes. (At least until they have the Super Bowl at an outdoor stadium and it rains; the shit will really hit the fan then.) Anyway, Congress returns today, for real this time. Initially, it was supposed to begin nomination hearings for judge John Roberts on Tuesday, but the rather intense deluge of news since the schedule was made -- Hurricane Katrina, the death of Chief Justice William Rehnquist, the onslaught of injuries to the Arizona Cardinals' offensive line -- has moved his hearings to later this week, likely Thursday. But anyway, welcome back to work, Congress; we'll enjoy the two or three weeks until you freaking go on vacation again.

In the midst of everything happening, it's important to remember that, as powerful as this great country of ours is, there's another country that, if they really felt like it, could crush our skulls into powder. That's right, it's China: Population one billion and growing, military might that rivals ours, a surprisingly stable economic system and, hey, let's not forget Yao Ming. In another time, China would be our Russia, our own little cold war that we'd feel like we're winning because, on the whole, we're considerably taller. But, alas, we have Al Qaeda, Katrina, oil prices, global instability and "Two and a Half Men;" we have more pressing concerns now.

Anyway, if just to remind us that, yo (Yao!), you best not be overlooking us, Chinese president Hu Jintao is scheduled to meet with President Bush today. This could be considered worrisome, since we somehow have difficulty trusting President Bush's ability to multi-task; somehow we imagine Dubya getting confused and asking Jintao to give him a briefing on "how it's looking down there." (This question could be about any number of things, including a poorly thought-out joke about height discrepancies between the two world leaders.) The real question: What will Bush's funny nickname for the Chinese prez be? With a first name like "Hu," it would seem the possibilities would be endless. Though it seems likely that Bush could be just enough of a frat boy dolt to refer to Jintao as "Kung Pow" or "General Tso's Chicken." Which, you know, is really reassuring.

Are you having problems posting comments here? some people have told me that often it takes up to two minutes for comments to post!!! agggggg!!! So, if this is the case, I will switch to haloscan! So let me know if it takes a long time to post a comment!

Finally, I got in the mail yesterday, a gift from my pal, cosmic, sans crayola! its a cathousetent! i put it in the closet, he stuck his head in it, i tryed to snap a pic, but was too slow! so i guess this will take time to get used to it.

I found a boarder for creamsicle to be with whilst im dallying around journalcon with my pals, poola, chaos, and mom-on-roof, et al. $9.75 a day! check it out here! i will have to get his shots up to date, distemper, rabies; b4 i can get him boarded. aw hes gonna love that!!! woo!!

so, its almost 6am, mountain goat time, i have to get ready for work, 9 to 5!!!
smell ya later!!! wheeeeeeeeee!!!



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FACT OF THE DAY
Today in 1736, the "Porteous Riot" took place in Edinburgh. The Tolbooth prison was broken into, several prisoners freed, and Captain John Porteous was dragged out and hanged. The unlucky Porteous had been granted a Royal reprieve from a death sentence imposed when, as Captain of Edinburgh's city guard, he ordered his men to fire on a rowdy mob protesting at the hanging of two convicted smugglers.

CAT OF THE DAY

AND THIS IS FOR MY PAL, boxx9000!

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