03:09 - 16 September, 2006
obituary
Bicuspid D. Toof 1960-2006
"He chewed his way thru life, and in the end,
he decided to break away from his family, and
ended up shattered, a sad and broken end..."
Bicuspid D. Toof, one of many in a fine family of
chewing artists, was found dead last night, of an
apparent suicide. he was 46.
A spokesman for the Toof family, Canine D. Toof, reported
that Bicuspid was in poor health as of late, and decided to
take the plunge, and break away from the family at approxmately
7 PM, Mountain Goat Time.
"No amount of pleading convinced ole Bicuspid to stay on and continue
kneading and mashing; we all knew he was in poor health, and could not take the pressure
anymore. He refused treatment, stating that he simply could not afford it."
"Bicuspid lived a hard and dangerous life, knashing and chewing his way out
of a lot of situations his entire life; having battled alcoholism at a young age,
and survived many assaults upon his person. he was tuff, but in the end, he was
old and warn, from many years of mis-use."
Autospy revaled that Mr. Toof was deteriourating from on high, and he died
quickly and painlessly.
He is preceeded in death by his cousin Molar D. Toof, Wisdom D. Toof, and his nephews,
I. Teef, and Lateral Incisor. And is survived by his brothers, Central Incisor, Cuspid D.
Canine, and Molar D. Toof the third.
Funeral Services will be held at the Phillip Morris Baptist Church, on Marlboro
Avenue at 9:00 AM monday morning, Services by the Rt. Rev. Rabbi Nick O'Teen, SJ; followed by the wake at the RJ Reynolds Funeral Home on Pall Mall Boulevard;
viewing will be held from Noon until Two PM, followed by interment at the Lucky Strike
Cemetary and Creamatoium and Bowling Lanes, with Free Bowling offered after the services.
well, now. i been working all night long. one of these last minute deals.
the pay period ended at midnight; so im only getting 8 hours more. doyle is pissed at
the moocher for taking sick days and not being sick. moocher thinks he is gonna get paid for the sick day, but he is not, and he got his ass blasted for pulling this!!
and im pissed about it cause i really dont wanna work all night, but here i am.
i been taking cat naps. screw it. its been rainy and cold, and i been chasing tramps
outta the doorways here all night long, but since after midnight, its been quiet.
i had to call the cops on one who refused to move, so the cops came and moved her for me.
some woman who was high or drunk or who the hell cares? all the cops did was got her
to move away, which is fine by me.
i told doyle last night that the reason moocher dont wanna work friday nights is that
since he got his ass kicked by a stinking drunk that used to live here, he lost
his nerve. he dont do anything anyway but sit here all night and sleep. the only reason
that he dont get fired long ago is cause doyle dont have anyone here with any brains
that he can replace him with. same deal with fat jason. but hes not as bad.
one thing i done was give a tenant here a lease violation for shitting in the hallway here this morning, and doyle asked me to write it up and he signed it, and then i gave it to
the slob. and when i gave it to him, he said to me, "what did i do?" sheesh!!
we aint had a shitter here for a long time.
a few days ago, some tramp hopped over the fence out back, and was skeered away when he seen doyle coming. moocher was "working" that day, and doyle let him have it but good.
i was really surprised when this toof popped out last night. it was broke to begin with,
and i was just sitting here minding my own bizness when it just popped out!! BAM!
no fuss, no muss! no pain, no blood. i would take a pic as you know, but i dont have
my camera. oh well.
if ya seeing me play pogo, and the room is private, the password is 1. where is says enter password just type 1. and ya in like flynn!! i been playing a lotta jungle gin, its redone, and they have ranks and badges now. im at rank 4, and got the 1st badge when i hit rank 3.
theres only like 4 game badges, maybe later on they will have more. and i gotta
tell ya, playin the puter is no fun. the damn thing will kick ya ass but good! but i just
set it for a 700 point game and hope for the best. ya get more points that way and the ranks
come faster. special note to my pal, boxx9000 i will be sleeping most of saturday, so if ya wanna play pop-fu for moo, go right ahead.
well, next sunday is the 1st day of fall. and we dont change the clocks back til the last sunday in october, and yom kippor falls on my birthday!!!! so, thats all i have from here,
hava swell weekend!!!
