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05:15 - Wednesday, Oct. 01, 2008
ONE day to FIFTY and udder fine events of de day!
good morning, mr. and mrs. america, and all the ships at sea! (walter winchell) NEWSFLASH! BREAKING NEWS FROM THE TEMPORARY OFFICES OF WHO DID IT AND RAN, INK!!!

are you a football fan? i am!! guess what? i get to goto and see all the seattle seahawks football games FOR FREE!! for those who dont know, the seattle seahawks are a professional american football team, a member of the national football league, as opposed to the canadian football league, which is in canada, but we are near canada, but not in canada!

ANYHOO, yes i do get to see all the home games for free, BUT, (dag nabbit, theres ALWAYS a BUT) theres a catch!!

and the catch is, i get to SELL all the BEER and HOTDOGS and WHATNOT!!!

GETCHER FOOTLONGS HERE!! RED HOT FOOTLONGS!! ICE COLD BEER HEER!!

yes indeedy!! i got a JOB of sorts! albeit very part time, i will be working on commission, along the lines of 35% i believe the gal who called me yesterday told me, although it was a lil hard to hear using the can and string telecommunications device that i have! heres the confirming email, that i recieved last night whilst i was asleep in the mission!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welcome!!!

Canvas Corporation/iCandy Management Group, Inc is pleased to have you as a new member of our team! We are dedicated to providing a fun, unique and professional service. As a member of the iCandy team, you are not just selling our product, you are selling our concept. Your personality, creativity and style are necessary tools that you will use to promote our products.
**PRINT OR COPY THESE DIRECTIONS & BRING THEM WITH YOU TO THE ORIENTATION**

Your Orientation/Training has been scheduled on: FRIDAY 10/10 2PM
During your orientation we will cover everything you need to know in order to make yourself A LOT of money!!! We will take you through the check in process, tour the venue so that you familiarize yourself with it, give you pointers on ways to maximize sales, fill out paperwork, etc.

Orientation Manager: JONATHAN TOUBIAN
Phone Number: 310-974-2844

Alternate Contact: BECKY THORPE
Phone Number: 310-270-5804


Facility Address:
Qwest Field
800 Occidental Ave. S.
Seattle, WA 98134

now, im gonna have to get a pair of BLACK SLACKS, NOT JEANS! (shit) from Kmart i would goto wal mart, but the nearest walmart is 254,093,732,628,992 steps from where i am at! becky said i could make 175-200 dollars a game! and from what i gather, they mail you the check.

now, i STILL have to find a REGULAR JOB to suppliment this one! and the pressing issue remains, i STILL have my bag o'rags in the greyhound storage locker, as there are STILL no lockers to rent at the mission!

tomorrow, october 2nd, i will reach a milestone in human living endurance, as i reach the halfway point in life, i will start to celebrate as of 8:19 AM ATLANTIC TIME tomorrow FIFTY YEARS ON THE PLANET! and what a gala event it will be! for the main event, tom petty and the heartbreakers will be performing, along with elton john, olivia newton-john, and tommy john will throw out the first pitch! lewis black will perform his comedy routine, and a highlight reel will be shown, depicting highlights of the past 50 years, tickets go on sale for just $29.99USD at ticketmaster and the gala celebration starts at hippy hill in beautiful san francisco's golden gate park! seating is limited, so dont delay, get yer ticket today!

and finally, yesterday morning, as i was sitting outside minding my own business, a nice lil gal from KIRO RADIO stuck a microfone in my snout, and wanted to know MY OPINION of the bailout plan! well, i gave em my shiny nickles worth, intelligently, of course, i didnt wanna sound like one of the so many nut jobs that are out there. i wonder if they actually used my syllables on the air? will she come back this morning and offer me my own radio talk show? will i become as famous as imus? stay tuned to this and many of our network affiliates around north america and the NBC (NoBody Cares) Radio network, as the answer to this and many other issues of the day will be answered tomorrow!! its coffee time!! what say ye? free speech comments linky at the bottom of the page!! have a slap-happy day! i know i will!!


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