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08:50 - Friday, Jan. 23, 2009
be responsible
howdee folks! happy friday and all that!

most of you regular readers know that when i say, "post a snidey comment!" i dont mean that in a literal sense; its a joke of sorts, an attempt at humour, but some folks take it in a literal sense. and you know i dont remove comments and i encourage free speech here. but it seems that i need to define a few things.
first, lemme show you the comment i got when i opened up my email this morning.

Tawnya ([email protected]) wrote the following:

http://www.haloscan.com/comments/acaldwell1958/090122_80_html/

OK. here is my snide comment. Fuck you! I make
almost $50K a year and you still eat beetter
than I do. So there.

now, here is my response.

i wish i made almost $50K a year! then, i would have a nice home to live in with all the trappings. and to say, "Fuck you" and to say that you eat better than a homeless person, says a great deal about you as an individual as far as managing your finances go. as for me i eat DONATED FOOD, and its really not as tasty and as appealing as it may seem. for example, at the mission theres a plastic container that has donuts in it. the donuts are stale and hard as hockey pucks; oftentimes, the bread is hard and stale, the chicken may not be cooked all the way through, or the salad is old and drowned in oil or salad dressing. take for example yesterday at "hot lunch thursday". we had "tuna casserole". it was NASTY, but i ate it anyway. it had STURGEON in it along with crumpled up potato chips, and 3/4 cooked egg noodles and peas. but, when you are UNEMPLOYED and BROKE and CANT AFFORD TO EAT AT A NICE RESTAURANT, you have to take what you can get for free. when i have a job and working, then i will have a choice as to what i can eat and when. and not have to have jesus shoved down my throat for fourty five minutes to an hour at each meal seven days a week, and not to mention having to sit next to pigs and shit stinking humans who dont know how to use hot soapy water and scrub the shit stains off thier hands and cough without covering their grease filled mouths and having to listen to people beltch and fart and elbows and all that! and i sit there and take all that crap because i have NO CHOICE RIGHT NOW.

folks, when i mention that "free speech is exercised here" what i mean by that is RESPONSIBLE free speech. that does not give you the right to say "fuck you" in my comments for all to see, if you dont like me for some god awful reason, send me an email and say "fuck you" to me in the email. im sorry if you might be a bit jealous of what i eat, i just post what i eat here like some folks post what they read, etc. its a curiousity factor.

being homeless and living in a rescue mission is not my CHOICE. i pay $5 a night for "the priviledge" and if i dont have that $5 im out on my ass. later on this morning, i have to goto a church in the u-district to beg for a voucher so i can continue to stay in the mission. this whole way of life is degrading and embarassing. i may joke about it or try to make light of it, but the alternative is to just shrivel up inna corner and cry my eyes out. and im on the verge of that on a daily basis. oh just an addendum here along with the other shit i have to put up with on a daily basis. each and every bed or mat at the mission, the one i stay at and the union gospel mission, is innundated with BEDBUGS! so, i have to find GARLIC to eat daily so i dont get bit. but i do get bit and so does everyone else. the mission i stay at is trying to be pro-active in combating this, but its hard when you have to operate on donations. all i can do is launder my clothes every other day and shower daily and do what i can to combat this on a personal level.

so, be happy that you make almost $50 K a year, and you can afford a nice apartment and pay rent, and have nice clean bug free bed to sleep in, and dont get jesus shoved down your throat seven days a week, and be free to commerserate about your lousy job or the crappy FRESH FOOD that you can choose to buy at the grocery store or restaurant. hopefully, when the current economic crisis subsides, i can get a job and climb out of the sewer pit i now reside in. i will GLADLY trade places with anyone who almost makes $50K a year right now!

i may JOKE about being a "professional tramp" or a "professional amtrak rider" or i may sound like im having the time of my life, and "have no responsibilities". but if i dont find humour in my situation, i will just lose my mind like a lot of people i see who live on the street. i may lose all hope soon, and daily on the verge of that. so i have to keep my hope alive and continue to say to myself, "today is a NEW DAY, and maybe someone will hire me today, and i hope i can afford to live like i once have, or pretty damn close to it".

perhaps i can get a job today and make close to $50K a year! wheeeeeeeee!!!

have a glorious weekend, folks, and keep hope alive and be thankful for what you have, as you may not have it tomorrow.


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