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11:12 - Wednesday, Feb. 18, 2009
you aint beating this boy down!!!
another bombshell hit last night at the bread, as the idiotic director came down and told us all that "we have to be accountable to god" and other rhetoric about "until we stop playing games and turn our lives over to christ, we will be stuck in this quagmire that we all are now in" and with that being said, the RULE is, "What you come in this mission with, you LEAVE with, there are several people in this chapel who think they can get away with leaving their stuff tucked under the mattress, and i was very much tempted today to just throw the stuff out, but, i didnt, so, i'm telling you now, what you come in here with, you leave with.

and then i spoke up. i just had to, and calmly and rationally, i explained to him that as for me, i ended up in the mission due to poor choices on my part, and what with the economy in the tank as it is, i have been here LONGER than i anticipated, and as for YOU who stands up there and ASSUMES that we are NOT CHRISTIAN, and that WE ALL ARE ACTIVE DRINKERS AND DOPERS, YOU ARE MOST MISTAKEN, HOW DARE YOU STAND UP THERE AND JUDGE US ALL LIKE THAT! I HAVE 23 YEARS SOBERITY, AND THE ONLY REASON IM IN THIS MISSION IS BECAUSE OF POOR CHOICES. 85% OF THE MEN IN HERE DO NOT DRINK OR USE DRUGS; and as for me, i am actively seeking gainful employment, and because YOU have removed all the lockers from the basement, we have NO PLACE to store our stuff, and as for me, i keep my stuff in a small bag tucked under my blanket so it looks like a pillow, my bed is always made, i NEVER cause ANY PROBLEMS, and have been willing to help you out with things when asked! Put yourself in a restaurant managers point of view. you are interviewing me for a job, and i come in toting a bag of clothes on my back! what is your first impression of me? "oh look! a rotten tramp!" im not going to hire THIS THING~! i work hard at keeping clean, and that includes wearing freshly laundered clothing!! im trying to get up OUT OF HERE! what you are doing by not allowing us to store what little bit of clothes we have in our beds, you are tearing us down, as now we have no place to store our stuff, and you provide no solutions to this at all, and how do you expect us to get a job when we have to tote our clothes on our backs all the day long???? just another way of making it hard for the majority of us to pull ourselves up and out of here!

it all fell on deaf ears. he just dont give a shit.

so, now, im toting my bag all over the city. trying to find work. i do have one out, though; at connections, ON OCCASION, i can store my bag there if i tell them im going to an interview.

just one of the many challenges we face being homeless. and you wonder WHY people in my position give up so easily, whenever we try to raise ourselves up and out of the situation and try to better ourselves, there is always SOMEONE in the way to knock us back down.

well, not this cat. i refuse to adhere to his brand of "christianity" and be kept down by his rhetoric. my bag is small, and clean, and i can tote it about and look for work, its just going to be a lil harder to do, thats all. when i get my tax refund back by march the 3rd, hopefully by then, i will be employed, AND find an opening for an SRO up on the hill for 350 a month.

or, if im not employed by then, i just might get up and outta this friggen town. i dunno. im just pissed off.

in job interview news:

the interview went swimmingly swell!! we talked shop for a while, and i felt confident and comfortable. the boss said that he will make a decision by thursday and let me know then. so, that means i will have to avoid using my cell fone until thursday cause i only have $1.75 left on it. im on the pre pay plan, since i dont have the good credit needed to be on a regular monthly plan, the way the pre pay works is that you load $15 dollars minimum at the AT&T store, and you get charged 10 cents a minute and a buck a day IF YOU USE THE PHONE. for example, i made 4 phone calls yesterday and answered 5 calls, and each call was 10 cents a minute. this morning, they deducted $1 from my account. thats how that works. once i get my tax refund in, i will be able to load up my pre pay phone, no problem! jon, who i drink coffee with in the mornings, he put $25 on my phone at the beginning of the month, and thats lasted me this long, and as for the coffee drinking goes, its mornings at the mission instead of starbux for now!!! but thats ok, too!!

when i go into the AT&T store and tell em i wanna get on a monthly plan, they run the credit check and tell me they want a $700 deposit!! thats why im on the pre pay plan!! no fuss no muss! see what happens when you have rotten credit!! again with the poor choices!!

thats the way that goes!

but overall, im surviving, i got hope still, and i will make it out of this tar pit, eventually! its just gonna take a lil time, and i got all the time in the world!!!

well, thats all the crap i have from here, keep up the faith, hope and love, and i'll be broadcasting right here tomorrow and let ya know the latest and greatest from the tar pits of the gutter!!! wheeee! hawwwww!!

hava slap happy day!! i know i will!!
i leave you now with an oldie but goodie from my dland jpg file!!

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